spirituality

A God-Shaped Heart

Matthew 5:21-37

"You have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, "You shall not murder'; and "whoever murders shall be liable to judgment.' But I say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister, you will be liable to judgment; and if you insult a brother or sister, you will be liable to the council; and if you say, "You fool,' you will be liable to the hell of fire. So when you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift. Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are on the way to court with him, or your accuser may hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you will be thrown into prison. Truly I tell you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny. 

"You have heard that it was said, "You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to go into hell. 

"It was also said, "Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.' But I say to you that anyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of unchastity, causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. 

"Again, you have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, "You shall not swear falsely, but carry out the vows you have made to the Lord.' But I say to you, Do not swear at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. Let your word be "Yes, Yes' or "No, No'; anything more than this comes from the evil one.”


My family is sandwiched between our two boys’ birthdays, which fall in January and March. Having an 8-year-old and a soon-be-to 11-year-old is proving to be a bit of an adjustment, much like each year that has come before. I’m not on Facebook but my wife showed me one of the “on this date six years ago” posts that popped up on her phone from Christmas just before we moved to New Palestine, and boy did our kids look little.

With each passing year my wife and I find ourselves struggling to adapt to the challenge of parenting through new stages. We are constantly wondering what it means to be a good parent, and the answers we come up with today (when we come up with answers!) are different than they were six years ago, and different than they were almost eleven years ago. 

Obviously, parenting a newborn is difficult. It is emotionally and physically exhausting. But the existential parenting concerns parents of newborns face are pretty limited at that time. As long as the child is being fed, changed, kept warm, loved, and getting sleep, you’re excelling as a parent. Parents are incapable of making many more or tougher parenting decisions at that stage.

As the child grows and interacts with more and more of the world, the definition of successful parenting becomes less clear. A parent always wants to make sure the child’s basic needs are covered. But as I parent my growing children I know that my responsibilities go beyond simply making sure that their basic needs are being covered. It’s a movement from “How do I keep this baby alive” to “What kind of life can I provide this child?” and even still, “What is my role in this child’s life?” 

This movement from the difficult simplicity of newborn parenting to the difficult complexity of parenting through the lifespan is a helpful model to understand our spiritual life.

When our faith is new we can only handle the basics. At this stage our concern echoes the concern of the parents of a newborn, “How do I keep this thing alive?” We need clear cut definitions and distinctions. A faith like this pulls things to opposite poles or dualities. We need to know what is good and what is bad, who God is and who God isn’t, who is in and who is out, what we should do and what we shouldn’t do. It’s a well-documented fact that many people never move beyond this stage of faith. They are handed a script and are content to play their part, no questions asked. 

Others move to the next stage of faith where things become messy and complicated. Things are no longer black or white. Instead, there is nuance, give-and-take, and constant wrestling with matters of truth. This stage of faith is like the stage of parenting where every comment or instruction given to a child is met with the same response: “why?” There’s a voice in our heads that starts asking “why?” The voice tells us we need more than just the basics; we need more explanation, more nuance, more grace, a more pronounced role in the decision-making process. Whereas newborn faith is characterized by “either/or,” more mature faith is characterized by “yes/but” or “yes/and.”

Jesus uses his sermon on the mount to invite us to cultivate a more mature and messy faith -- a faith that moves beyond simple obedience to the law and into a more holistic and encompassing vision of the transformation of one’s heart and life.

We have to move beyond simple obedience to the law because the old religious law had become corrupted. This law made its followers feel insecure, morally weak, and unacceptable. When you’ve convinced someone they are unacceptable, they are more inclined to do what you want them to do because human beings will go to great lengths to feel accepted. What better way to cement your power over someone else than by establishing laws that people are incapable of obeying! With every mistake and misstep, the people saw themselves as further and further away from the ideal of God which they assumed the pious religious leaders were following. 

Jesus comes with a radical new message and invitation. In his sermon, Jesus presents snippets of the law when he says “You have heard it said…” But he’s not mentioning them just to remind the people they should be following the law; he has something to add; he has some nuance, some grace, some explaining to do, some questions, perhaps. So he says, “But I say to you…” 

Jesus invites us to understand that there is a divine law that is not a set of rules to follow but instead is a blueprint for a God-shaped heart energized by love. Jesus is an example of what it would look like to live our lives as God would live them if God were you or I. The law had suppressed the people for so long that they doubted they were fundamentally good people, and consequently they doubted whether God was fundamentally good. But here comes Jesus with the message that God is good, all people are inherently precious, and that it is possible to live with a God-shaped heart. 

Jesus lists a few examples in his sermon. A man or woman who lives with a God-shaped heart would have an intense desire to be of help. Such a person would have neither contempt nor lust for others. Such a person (a man, in this example) would not divorce his wife simply because he felt like it, which was a common practice at the time. And, such a person would only say how things are or are not; there would be no verbal manipulation.

I started this morning by addressing the question on many of our hearts, which is “How do I know if I’m a good parent?” Here we have a picture of what it looks like to be a good Christ-follower, or even a good person. All these questions  are one-in-the-same.

A good person seeks to follow the footsteps of Christ, by recognizing the inherent dignity and worth of every person and by cooperating with the ongoing work of God in the world that is expressed in acts of loving kindness and trust in God. We are not to become preoccupied with checking off a list of dos and don’ts of spiritual perfection. This would only tear us down or, conversely, over-inflate our ego. Instead, Jesus reframes the law to show that it is possible to live in the Kingdom of God here and now. The Holy Spirit will help us on this journey of discipleship. It will take a long, long, time to feel any sense of movement towards a God-shaped heart. But transformation is possible; and if that is what you seek, God will deliver. I can think of no better news to announce this morning.

Amen. 

Summer Synopsis

Well, this is it for a while. Next Sunday is my last Sunday with you and then my family and I step away for four months for a period of renewal leave; but today is my last sermon until the end of September. I wanted to take a little time this morning to explain what is going to happen this summer and why it is happening.

Much care, attention, and prayer has gone into designing a renewal experience over the summer that will enable you and I to engage with the creative arts and spirituality. We have a slate of artists lined up to come to Cross of Grace and lead you in this process.

You’ve already been given a taste of what’s to come through the recent adult forums: Rob Saler’s class on art appreciation and Tom Orr’s on poetry. But we officially kick off next Sunday when special guest Aaron Niequist will lead us in worship both in the morning as well as at a special service at 5pm. Aaron wrote an insightful book about his experience forming a faith community at the Willow Creek megachurch where he was a worship leader. This faith community, called “The Practice,” was designed around the principle that worship should be a springboard into daily discipleship. He created a worship format that included teaching about spiritual practices and then actually practicing them during worship.

Next Sunday morning Aaron Niequist will lead us in the spiritual practice of lectio divina (intentional and deliberate re-reading of scripture with an openness to revelation). At the 5pm worship he will introduce us to the Examen – a daily prayer of reflecting on the day’s events and what God might have been up to through them. I have spoken to many people who share in my excitement that he will be our guest and they often say, “How did you get him?” My answer is that I read his book and sent him an email in which I told him a little bit about what we’re up to here, I told him about my passion for spiritual practices that is being nurtured through my continuing education program, and told him about the summer’s focus on creativity and spirituality. It wasn’t a hard sell; he seemed genuinely excited from the beginning.

Over the summer look for additional ways to explore your creativity and spirituality. A fun and engaging book about the subject written by Rob Bell will be available to you. It’s called How to Be Here. Copies will be available for you to read, discuss, and share.

There will also be two arts workshops. On July 13 local artist Gary Schmitt will lead workshops on the art of felting. You will be able to create doves out of wool. I’m fascinated by the process and wish I could participate.

Through the month of August the church will look a little different as we will host an exhibit of artwork by acclaimed painter Kyle Ragsdale. Kyle works with the Harrison Center for the Arts in Indianapolis as well as Redeemer Presbyterian as their Coordinator of Liturgical Arts. Then in September he will lead a painting class that is open to the church and community.

I hope you will tend to the creative impulses that will call to you over the summer. When we return together at the end of September we will celebrate one another’s creativity and spiritual growth with an exhibit of our experiments in creativity. I would love to read your poetry, hear your music, view your oil paintings or doves sculpted out of wool, admire your woodwork projects, or whatever else you create of the summer. The evening will also include a potluck meal and a concert featuring our contemporary music minister, Kaitlyn Ferry.

Too often we lose sight of the importance of creative expression in our lives. If we are to grow spiritually, we must immerse ourselves in the things that reflect God. Given that God is a creator, we can grow in our connection to the divine by being creators, ourselves.

The arts are a centerpiece for my part of the renewal experience as well. Music is one of my spiritual languages, so I am looking forward to taking in a couple music festivals, singing at evensong services in historical English cathedrals, enjoying Broadway musicals, and also hand-crafting a guitar over the course of a couple weeks in Vancouver Island, British Columbia.

The renewal experience is about more than engaging in creative pursuits, though.

Someone recently asked me what I am most looking forward to regarding the upcoming renewal leave. Sure, there’s the travel, amazing food, quiet time to catch up on reading, and once-in-a-lifetime experiences that I am looking forward to enjoying; however, my answer was that I was looking forward to not being “Pastor Aaron” for a couple months.

Everyone who works faces the temptation to synchronize their identity with their vocation. Teachers start to think of themselves as teachers; CEOs start to think of themselves as bosses; doctors as doctors; farmers as farmers; factory workers as factory workers, and so on. A sense of call or vocation is important, but our jobs always fail us as a marker of identity. Anytime our understanding of ourselves (or others’ understanding of us) is dependent on what we do, we’re in dangerous territory. The truth followers of Christ lift up is that our true identity is as beloved image-bearers of the divine – “unceasing spiritual beings with an eternal destiny in God's glorious universe,” as Dallas Willard states.

Four months of intentional separateness from my vocation is an invitation to explore and lean into my true identity. I am not the sermons I preach, the pastoral care I show, the events I put on for youth, nor the teaching I offer; I am not what you think of me; and I am not the church I serve. I tell you, though, it’s hard to remember that. Much the same way that teachers likely find it hard to disentangle their identity from the academic success or failure of their students; or business owners struggle to disentangle their identity from the success or failure of their enterprise.

This summer I get to be dad, husband, a tourist, a guitar-builder, a worshipper, a friend, a son, and most importantly, an image-bearer of the divine whose worth is determined by God, not by what I do.

I want you to know that this summer is an incredible gift for my family and me; but also for you. Please make time this summer to reconnect with your own belovedness.

Pick up a paintbrush and reconnect with your belovedness.

Take a trip and reconnect with your belovedness.

Spend time with family and reconnect with your belovedness.

Practice a new spiritual discipline and reconnect with your belovedness.

Take a break from something, watch as life carries on without you, and reconnect with your belovedness.

Thank you for giving, being, and receiving this gift. Amen.