Tombs for the Living

John 11:1-44

Now a certain man was ill, Lazarus of Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha. Mary was the one who anointed the Lord with perfume and wiped his feet with her hair; her brother Lazarus was ill. So the sisters sent a message to Jesus, “Lord, he whom you love is ill.” But when Jesus heard it, he said, “This illness does not lead to death; rather it is for God’s glory, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.” Accordingly, though Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus, after having heard that Lazarus was ill, he stayed two days longer in the place where he was.

Then after this he said to the disciples, “Let us go to Judea again.” The disciples said to him, “Rabbi, the Jews were just now trying to stone you, and are you going there again?” Jesus answered, “Are there not twelve hours of daylight? Those who walk during the day do not stumble, because they see the light of this world. But those who walk at night stumble, because the light is not in them.” After saying this, he told them, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep, but I am going there to awaken him.” The disciples said to him, “Lord, if he has fallen asleep, he will be all right.” Jesus, however, had been speaking about his death, but they thought that he was referring merely to sleep. Then Jesus told them plainly, “Lazarus is dead. For your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him.” Thomas, who was called the Twin, said to his fellow disciples, “Let us also go, that we may die with him.”

When Jesus arrived, he found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb four days. Now Bethany was near Jerusalem, some two miles away, and many of the Jews had come to Martha and Mary to console them about their brother. When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went and met him, while Mary stayed at home. Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But even now I know that God will give you whatever you ask of him.” Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.” Martha said to him, “I know that he will rise again in the resurrection on the last day.” Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Those who believe in me, even though they die, will live, and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this” She said to him, “Yes, Lord, I believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, the one coming into the world.”

When she had said this, she went back and called her sister Mary, and told her privately, “The Teacher is here and is calling for you.” And when she heard it, she got up quickly and went to him. Now Jesus had not yet come to the village, but was still at the place where Martha had met him. The Jews who were with her in the house, consoling her, saw Mary get up quickly and go out. They followed her because they thought that she was going to the tomb to weep there. When Mary came where Jesus was and saw him, she knelt at his feet and said to him, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her also weeping, he was greatly disturbed in spirit and deeply moved. He said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to him, “Lord, come and see.” Jesus began to weep. So the Jews said, “See how he loved him!” But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?”

Then Jesus, again greatly disturbed, came to the tomb. It was a cave, and a stone was lying against it. Jesus said, “Take away the stone.” Martha, the sister of the dead man, said to him, “Lord, already there is a stench because he has been dead four days.” Jesus said to her, “Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?” So they took away the stone. And Jesus looked upward and said, “Father, I thank you for having heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I have said this for the sake of the crowd standing here, so that they may believe that you sent me.” When he had said this, he cried with a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” The dead man came out, his hands and feet bound with strips of cloth, and his face wrapped in a cloth. Jesus said to them, “Unbind him, and let him go.”

---

As good as it is, I don’t think the most important thing about this story has as much to do with the miracle of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead, as we might believe. I might be wrong about that, but it’s not the most important thing for me, at least, for a couple of reasons.

First of all, I don’t think Lazarus’ resuscitation is the most meaningful thing about it all partly because it doesn’t happen often enough in ways we wish it would, or think it should – or maybe even deserve, sometimes – as far as I’m concerned. Who hasn’t wished, hoped and prayed for someone you love to have a second chance to live again after a disease or an accident or even after a long life, well-lived? We would almost always call on Jesus, just like Martha and Mary did, to do for our loved ones, just what he did for Lazarus. Would we not? But I haven’t heard of many successful returns on that investment.

And the second reason I’m not sure Lazarus’ walk from the tomb is the most important thing about it all is that – as marvelous and miraculous as that magic trick must have been to witness – and for us to wonder about, still – it didn’t last forever. Lazarus died again, eventually, so there’s that. Bah humbug. And for that reason, some people consider all of this more of a resuscitation than a resurrection, but that may be splitting theological hairs.

So I always have to remind myself that this story may not be as much about resurrection from the dead as I’m inclined to think, at first. Maybe it doesn’t have so much to do with Jesus’ power to give physical life back to someone who has lost it. After all, what we’ve heard about this morning isn’t the be-all and end-all of resurrection stories, remember. We’ll hear about that one in a couple of weeks on Easter Sunday.

So what could be the point – other than that resurrection stuff? Where is some meaning here I can sink my teeth into?

I’m thinking maybe it has as much, or more, to do with new life as we know it – right here for those of us still living, moving and breathing in the world, on this side of our respective graves. What Jesus shows us – and what he shows Lazarus, and the sisters, Mary and Martha, and anyone else who was watching that day outside of Bethany – is that tombs aren’t just for dead people. (That sounds like a commercial doesn’t it? “Tombs – they’re not just for dead people anymore!”)

See, you might say the disciples are living in their own kind of naïve tombs about the fullness of Jesus’ ministry – trying to protect Jesus at every turn and not understanding what it means to walk in the light, in spite of the darkness around them. Mary and Martha were living in tombs of grief and despair and blame and lack of faith about what had happened – missing their brother, angry at God, frustrated with Jesus, and all that goes along with that. And of course, there was the crowd from town, presumably mixed with people of all kinds living in all sorts of proverbial tombs – some curious, some suspicious, some apparently murderous – over all they’d heard and seen from Jesus up until now.

So, what about us? If tombs aren’t just for dead people, where do they show up in our lives and what are they doing there? Like so much else when it comes to the faith we wrestle with, there are as many answers as there are people to ask those hard questions.

So, I wonder where are our tombs? What is it that keeps us from really living – right here, right now?

- Maybe it’s an addiction or a bad relationship

- Maybe it’s fear of failure or fear of success

- Maybe it’s some kind of bigotry or a lack of information or a lack of faith

- Maybe it’s something in our past or something in our present or something we know is on the way

What kind of caves are we afraid to come out of?

- a cave that’s comfortable because we’ve been in there for a while?

- a cave that seems like the right place to be only because we’ve never known anything different?

- a cave that holds a secret or two no one else knows and that we’re too afraid to tell?

What is it that we find ourselves buried beneath?

- Work or family obligations?

- School or stereotypes?

- Debt? … doubt?

- Guilt? … shame?

- Bad decisions? … bad luck?

Maybe it’s something you can’t even put a name on. There are all sorts of things in our lives and in the world that keep us entombed and buried and anything but living the life that God would have for us.

And the more time I spend with people – particularly for some reason, people like us in the Church – the more it seems to me that God’s greater challenge isn’t to raise us from the dead once we’ve stopped breathing. It seems sometimes like the greater miracle is for God to wake us up and call us out of the graveyards of our Habit and Tradition; to carry us out of cemeteries of Comfort, and Complacency and Low Expectations; to dig us out of tombs of Hopelessness, Sadness and Despair.

But that’s what I see God doing this morning – as much for Mary, Martha and the people of Bethany, all of whom were alive and breathing – as for Lazarus, who was dead as a doornail, and starting to decay!

He calls them all out of their tombs and invites them to live again, differently, on the other side. So maybe that’s the invitation we’re all called to hear, to wonder about, and to pray for faith and courage enough to respond to every day – and maybe, especially – as we head into these remaining days of Lent this time around.

From what …

Out of what …

Toward what … are you being called?

“Come out” of what’s expected and do that thing, volunteer for that project, get involved in that ministry, sign up for that class, take or leave that job, finally.

“Come out” of what’s always been safe and comfortable. Give away that gift or offer up your time or extend that mercy.

“Come out” of your pride and ask for help or ask for direction or ask for forgiveness.

We all have things that keep us entombed – that keep us in the dark – that keep us locked up or locked away from what God would have us do or be or become. This morning – and every day that we gather around Word and sacrament and in the presence of one another – we are hearing God’s call to us…

…to come out of our tombs. …to step into God’s light. …to throw off the darkness and the trappings that tie us up and keep us down and prevent us from living most fully, as God intends.

So, as we wait and long and hope for Easter, let’s plan to “come out, come out from where ever we are.” Let’s hear God calling our name in a way we haven’t before. Let’s accept the invitation for a change and step into a new way of living right where we are.

Let’s be unbound by the good news that even though tombs may not be just for dead people anymore, neither are things like resurrection and new life and second-chances. We all stand to be revived, resuscitated, raised up in some way to get a taste of everlasting life – not just after we die – but on this side of heaven, too, thanks to the grace we share and that calls us by name, in Jesus Christ our Lord.

Amen

Wilderness: Addiction and Burning Bushes

Luke 13:6-9

Then he told this parable: “A man had a fig tree planted in his vineyard; and he came looking for fruit on it and found none. So he said to the gardener, ‘See here! For three years I have come looking for fruit on this fig tree, and still I find none. Cut it down! Why should it be wasting the soil?’ He replied, ‘Sir, let it alone for one more year, until I dig around it and put manure on it. If it bears fruit next year, well and good; but if not, you can cut it down.’”

---

Hello, my name is Chris. My family and I are fairly new here. We attend second service and are just beginning to get involved. My wife, Mary, and I have been married for over 16 years. We have two amazing daughters, Elliott and Harper, and two spoiled dogs.

When the weather warms up, we can normally be found outside. We fill our weekends camping and enjoying nature. Woods and fields; oceans and mountains; waterfalls and caves; these are the things that fill my cup. These are my sacred and holy places, the places I most often encounter God.

To find places to explore and then make my way through them, I need a map. I need directions or a guide, otherwise I get lost. I have a pretty decent sense of direction on the trail or in the woods. But sometimes I get lost. Sometimes I get really lost.

A few years ago, my family and I were camping in North Carolina over fall break. It was my wife’s birthday and we decided to celebrate by hiking up a mountain to this—supposedly—beautiful waterfall. Except we kept climbing, switchback after switchback and, as the day got hotter and hotter, we could not find the turn off for the waterfall. We kept saying “just a little farther” to two very grumpy kids and then we’d get “just a little farther” and see nothing. We didn’t bring water or snacks or a map or anything you should take on a 3-hour hike on a hot day because we didn’t know it would take this long. Eventually, my family, on the brink of despair and starvation, turned around having never found this waterfall. If you think they have let me live that down, or not mentioned it every time we go on a hike even years later, you would be gravely mistaken.

A lot of the lessons I’ve learned in nature help me when I return to my everyday life. Getting lost can feel helpless and out of control. It can be scary. It can feel lonely.

I felt those things for years. For a long time, I felt out of control and alone.

I didn’t want to be an alcoholic, but I was. I had become one.

I didn’t want my dependence on alcohol to separate me from my wife and kids, but it did. And even in the middle of so much loss and hurt, I could not stop drinking. I was not done hurting myself or others, even though I desperately wanted to be.

I know God loved me in my addiction. God continued to love unconditionally even as I continued to hurt myself and those around me. But I also know God wanted better for me. God wanted me to feel less shame, less loneliness, less scared. God wanted to help me out of the wilderness I’d found myself in. But I didn’t know how to find the map. I had lost my sense of direction. I felt lost.

When you’re lost in the wilderness of it, it's easy to forget that addiction, of any kind, impacts other people and not just the addict. We can convince ourselves that “one more time” won’t hurt anyone. But that’s not the truth. Our decisions always have a ripple effect. We don’t drop a single stone into a pond without hundreds of ripples. It’s the same with addiction; we are not islands, our choices impact others.

In the summer of 2017, I was in a pit of despair. I could not control my drinking and the effect that had on my wife and on my children was hard to avoid. The tears. The anger. The sadness. The confusion. I wasn’t living in our home anymore; I had monitored visits with my kids. I had to prove I was sober and safe before I was allowed to be near them. I was sleeping on other peoples’ couches and guest beds. I was untethered. It was, in the truest sense, a wilderness.

I went to AA. I went to Celebrate Recovery. I spoke with drug counselors and therapists. And all I wanted to do was drink. Drinking was what made everything feel better. It helped me to forget the past. It helped me to forget the present. I was able to drown the world in alcohol. But now it was the drinking I could not forget; I had grown physically dependent on alcohol. I could no longer function without it. I couldn’t get out of bed without a drink.

I said foxhole prayers. “Oh God, get me out of this. Help me feel better. I’ll do anything! God, please!”

Alcohol ruled my life. It made all my decisions for me. Where I went. What I did. Who I spent my time with. In the end, it had secluded me, isolated me, separated me from the people I loved. My wife was at home wondering how long it would be until she had to tell my girls I was dead. I was in the wilderness, and so was my family.

You might be lucky enough to not have had to deal with addiction. But I can guess, you’ve experienced loneliness, fear, and anxiety. We all, at times, feel unlovable, lost, or helpless.

I felt those things and blamed God for all of them. I was in the wilderness of my own making and begged for a map, for a way out. If God would just give me a map, this would all be over. I was sure of it.

In September 2017, I woke up in a hospital. My wife had made the hard decision to call the police as I was driving drunk the night before. I vaguely remembered a police officer telling me I could take a ride to a detox facility or get into the car with my very angry wife. I chose the hospital. It was the less scary choice.

But it was still scary, waking up in a hospital gown in an unfamiliar room. I knew this was it. Nothing else had worked, and this was the end for me. This was not the end I had envisioned. It felt like God had left me; I had not been rescued from myself. I did not plan to live much longer and now I was naked except for a very airy hospital gown in a locked medical facility. As I walked to breakfast surrounded by people in real clothes, I knew this was it. I had reached my bottom. I was emotionally, mentally, and spiritually broken. I had no job. No home. No family. My wife was talking with a lawyer to end our marriage. I had nothing left.

I spent a week in the medical facility detoxing. I wanted that to be the end of it, but my wife said no, you can’t come home. My friends said no, you can’t come back. I was out of options. I checked myself into a residential rehab facility. You have a lot of free time in rehab but no access to your normal vices. I did what I was told to do because what else was there to do? I was a whole other kind of wilderness.

Sometimes the map out of the wilderness is other people and routine. It’s trusting those ahead of you on the journey. I didn’t feel like this was the way out of the wilderness, but I didn’t have any other ideas or options, either.

In Exodus, Moses encounters a burning bush. I’ve heard the story of this strange event my whole life. This burning bush phenomenon has always fascinated me. God speaking to Moses from a fire in a bush. Holy ground. I can’t help but imagine Moses being at his rock bottom during this time. Here was a prince of Egypt wandering the wilderness tending his father-in-law’s flock. He was running for his life, in hiding because he’d just killed a man. He didn’t even have his own sheep. And now he was talking to a bush?

I could relate to Moses. I had hit my own kind of rock bottom, and I liked the biblical company.

A few weeks into my rehab stay, I began to walk around the grounds. Behind the house was a small-wooded area. On this day, I had just learned that my insurance company was ending my treatment and wanted to discharge me. I was scared. It was the longest I had been sober in years. I wasn’t ready. I still needed constant supervision. I still had so much work to do. While wandering around the woods, I came upon a downed tree. The tree was covered in a bright orange-red fungus. It consumed the tree, giving it the appearance of being on fire.

It felt like my own burning bush. I could feel God—in the midst of all my worries and hurts and fears—say, “I will be with you.” Just like God did for Moses. The ground I was standing on felt holy.

I had been pleading, begging, and calling out to God for years asking to take this addiction away from me. I didn’t want to be an alcoholic like my dad. I had seen the destruction it had caused. Addiction ruins marriages and families and lives. It steals so much. In this moment, when I had finally gotten quiet enough to listen, God reminded me that He was with me. God had never left me, but I had forgotten what it felt like to not be alone. And I wasn’t alone. God was with me.

Things did not get magically better. But God used people to help guide me out of the wilderness I had ended up in. Sober people who knew how it felt to be so lost. Counselors who helped me address the reasons I drank. Guides showed up along the path and led me when I was too tired and scared to do it alone. I did in-patient programs, out-patient programs, AA meetings, and lived in a halfway house with supervision. I stopped hiding, I showed up, I was held accountable. I was given directions and I followed them even if it was painful. (And it was painful; recovery is hard and painful.) But it was worth it.

I had been in the wilderness alone for so long that I forgot how much I needed other people. I forgot that hiding and shame alienated; that the map I was begging God for was always going to be other people and honesty. I was demanding something God had already provided, but I wasn’t ready to show up for or receive it yet.

Isaiah 41:10 says, “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” God is with us, always. And when we don’t feel it or believe it or see it, there are people who come alongside us and reflect God’s love, mercy, grace, and peace for Him. For me, those people were my wife, my girls, my fellow addicts and alcoholics, the friends and family who showed up again when I was ready to show up again, too.

Like I said before, your wilderness might not be addiction. Your wilderness might look different than mine, but the feelings are often the same: loneliness, fear, shame, or anxiety. We feel lost and out of control and forgotten. We feel unloved and sad. Often the answer God is giving us, when we care to look around, is the people who surround us. People are the map to higher ground. People are the support when we feel tired. People are the guides that reflect God back to us. We just have to be willing to pay attention. I’m glad that I finally did and grateful for the chance to try again each day.

Amen