Matthew 16:21-28
From that time on, Jesus began to show his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and undergo great suffering at the hands of the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and on the third day be raised. And Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him, saying, “God forbid it, Lord! This must never happen to you.” But he turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; for you are setting your mind not on divine things but on human things.”
Then Jesus told his disciples, “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit them if they gain the whole world but forfeit their life? Or what will they give in return for their life? “For the Son of Man is to come with his angels in the glory of his Father, and then he will repay everyone for what has been done. Truly I tell you, there are some standing here who will not taste death before they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom.”
We have a happiness problem here in the United States. We desperately want to be happy, but we aren’t quite sure how. Which is kind of odd, right? Everywhere you turn, that are suggestion, tips, full-proof ways to make us happy: Magazine in the grocery store says “this new diet will make you happier”; Every bookstore has a whole self-help section, where all the secrets to a better life are just pages away, and you can’t help be see a Facebook post or trend on tiktok giving you a life-hack or practice that will instantly make your life better.
Our desire for happiness isn’t just anecdotal. People in the US google how to be happy more than how to get rich. I guess there are some things even the world richest countries can’t buy,
because overall most of America is not happy.
According the the World Happiness Report by Gallup Poll, general happiness in American has been on a steady decline since 2000. Happiness among young people has been on a sharp decline since 2012, correlating nicely with a sharp increase in digital hours that same year. 18% of Americans are happy with the direction of the country and on the whole, we are more anxious and depressed than we’ve ever been.
So how do we become happier? Are there things that actually improve happiness? Well it turns out, we don’t really know! In the late 90s, early 2000s there was tons of studies and research on what makes us happy. The media really highlighted five strategies: gratitude, social interaction, exposure to nature, physical exercise and meditation/mindfulness.
But, in the 2010s, the replication crisis hit and many, many of these studies that supposedly told us how to be happy weren’t scientifically sound. They had too few subjects or used flawed methodologies, like massaging the data. So when Elizabeth Dunn, a leading happiness researcher at the University of British Columbia, tested those five strategies again, there wasn’t good evidence that they worked at all. We don’t really know what makes us happy, yet we pursue it at all costs. And if we are honest, happiness is the idol we’re all chasing, but can never quite get. And so we keep grabbing after everything, hoping that this life hack, this self-help book, this new car or kitchen gadget or outfit will somehow fix the quality of life.
Yet time and again we are left unsatisfied.
Which makes Jesus' words to us today all the harder to hear, “if any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves, take up their cross and follow me”. What happened to the nice, comforting invitation of, “Come to me, all who are tired and heavy burdened” or the encouraging, “blessed are the meek, mourning, and merciful”. We much prefer those words over this one. Because who really wants to follow Jesus if it includes self denial and carrying a cross? Jesus tells us exactly where that will land him, undergoing great suffering and being killed at the hands of others. That doesn’t exactly sound like a happy life.
Thank goodness for Peter who says what the rest of us are thinking. “God forbid it! Jesus, this must never happen to you”. I wonder if Peter said this because he knew that if it happened to Jesus, it could happen to him. And who wants that for their life? One marked by sacrifice and self-denial, leading to a short life? Perhaps Peter is wondering, is that how it has to be Lord?
Is there not another way for you, which would also mean another way for me?
Apparently, that was a question in Jesus' mind too because he strongly rebukes Peter for what he said, going so far as to call him Satan. Even mentioning the idea was a stumbling block to Jesus, indicating that he himself was tempted with finding another way to redeem all creation, a way that doesn’t involve pain, and sacrifice, and cutting his life short.
We all have that question for following Jesus. Is there really no other way than self-denial, risking my life, and carrying a heavy load? That doesn’t sound like happiness?
Shouldn’t God care about my happiness or my comfort? Doesn’t God want me to be happy, healthy, and wealthy? In the words of Barbra Brown Taylor, “The resounding answer, according to the text, is ‘No!’ God does not care about your comfort and safety. God does not care whether you and I are happy or not. It’s not as if Jesus says “choose yourself, take up your happiness and follow me.”
It’s not what God cares about. “What God does care about though… is the quality of your life.” Happiness is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. It is a wonderful byproduct of life, but it can never be the goal, because the more you chase it, the more unattainable it becomes.
What kind of life is it, then, to gain the whole world in search of happiness and never getting it? In doing that, we forfeit our whole lives!
It’s when we try to save and hold on to life that we lose it, like saving a big loaf of bread only for it to spoil. Or locking your heart away, deep from other people. It may never get broken, but you’ll never love either. It’s only when you share the bread, do all get to enjoy it or risk a relationship that you experience love.
The same is true for a life of discipleship, a life of following Jesus. It means self-denial, sacrifice, risking your own happiness, losing your life for Jesus’ sake, but that’s not where life ends!
In fact, it’s at that point that we truly find what it means to be living. Like Peter we get caught up when Jesus talks about suffering and dying that we miss or forget that he says, “on the third day be raised.” There is new life on the other side of sacrifice and self-denial, to be enjoyed here and now. A life full of depth, meaning, purpose, even joy!
You may say though, “a life of discipleship sounds great, but how do we do it? If we can’t figure out how to be happy, how will we figure this out”. The good news is Paul gives us a pretty good idea of what discipleship. Using the paraphrase by Eugene Peterson, Paul says in Romans that if you want a life of discipleship try this: “Love from the center of who you are; not faking it.
Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply;
Don’t quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help people in need, be hospitable. Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they’re happy; share tears when they’re down. Get along with each other; don’t be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don’t be the great somebody. Don’t hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you’ve got it in you, get along with everybody. Don’t insist on getting even; that’s not for you to do.
[and finally] Don’t let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good.
That's a life of discipleship and doesn’t that sound better than being happy? Yet if you are still wanting a little happiness in your life, there is one strategy that has really strong evidence according to Elizabeth Dunn, one simple practice proven to increase your happiness and its this: giving your money away… especially to people in need. How bout that?
Those who lose their life or their money or their time or their privilege for Jesus' sake find new life, one better than the old. Amen
