Love

Holy Curiosity

Acts 8:26-40

Then an angel of the Lord said to Philip, ‘Get up and go towards the south* to the road that goes down from Jerusalem to Gaza.’ (This is a wilderness road.) So he got up and went. Now there was an Ethiopian eunuch, a court official of the Candace, queen of the Ethiopians, in charge of her entire treasury. He had come to Jerusalem to worship and was returning home; seated in his chariot, he was reading the prophet Isaiah. Then the Spirit said to Philip, ‘Go over to this chariot and join it.’ So Philip ran up to it and heard him reading the prophet Isaiah. He asked, ‘Do you understand what you are reading?’ He replied, ‘How can I, unless someone guides me?’ And he invited Philip to get in and sit beside him. Now the passage of the scripture that he was reading was this:
‘Like a sheep he was led to the slaughter,
and like a lamb silent before its shearer,
so he does not open his mouth.
In his humiliation justice was denied him.
Who can describe his generation?
For his life is taken away from the earth.’

The eunuch asked Philip, ‘About whom, may I ask you, does the prophet say this, about himself or about someone else?’ Then Philip began to speak, and starting with this scripture, he proclaimed to him the good news about Jesus. As they were going along the road, they came to some water; and the eunuch said, ‘Look, here is water! What is to prevent me from being baptized?’ He commanded the chariot to stop, and both of them, Philip and the eunuch, went down into the water, and Philip* baptized him. When they came up out of the water, the Spirit of the Lord snatched Philip away; the eunuch saw him no more, and went on his way rejoicing. But Philip found himself at Azotus, and as he was passing through the region, he proclaimed the good news to all the towns until he came to Caesarea.


We are all losers, at least that’s what it feels like for most of us. Before you pie me, let me explain! Back in February, Pew Research Center, a nonpartisan organization that conducts public opinion polls on everything from politics to religion, science and more, released updated findings on how folks feel like their side in politics is doing.

And according to that multiyear study, less than a quarter of Americans feel like their side is winning on issues that matter to them. Which means that the rest of us, the vast majority of us, feel like we are losing. No wonder public dialogue, political discourse, or even talking with a neighbor or coworker feels so embittered and tense. Most of us feel like we are fighting a losing battle. In reality though what we are all losing to is tribalism.

Tribalism is the instinct to gather and connect with people who are similar in all sorts of ways: beliefs, interests, experiences, and more. Our tribe tells us who we are, what we’re supposed to do, and what we believe. Now this is not necessarily a bad thing. Having a community that helps give us identity, that surrounds us and supports us is very important.

But tribalism becomes treacherous when it tells us who we should fear. We can so closely identify with our tribe that anyone who is different becomes a threat.

It is dangerous then when a tribe says, “Watch out for them. They aren’t like us. They are trying to take things from you, they only want to hurt you. They are the cause of your problems, of our problems. Be very afraid of them. Be afraid of the democrats. Be afraid of the republicans.

Be afraid of people who are transgender or who do drag. Be afraid of progressives or fundamentalist. Be very afraid.”

Sharon Brous, a rabbi in Los Angeles, writes that “One of the great casualties of tribalism is curiosity. And when we are no longer curious, when we don’t try to imagine or understand what another person is thinking or feeling or where her pain comes from, our hearts begin to narrow.

We become less compassionate and more entrenched in our own worldviews.” Perhaps we all feel like we are losing because tribalism has swallowed up our sense of curiosity and narrowed our hearts.

Which is why we need the story of Philip and the Eunuch now more than ever. For some context: Philip is a newly appointed leader in the growing Jesus movement. Religious leaders felt threatened by this and especially with a disciple named Stephen. Under the authority of a man named Saul, they stoned Stephen. And the church then was severely persecuted, scattering disciples all over the place. I imagine at this point it would have been so easy for the church to become tribal; telling each other who to watch out for and who to be afraid of, “be afraid of anyone who is not like us”. But that’s not the case for Philip.

Philip first goes to Samaria, the despised, distant cousin of the Jews, preaching and healing the sick, and to everyone’s surprise, droves of Samaritans believed and were baptized. This Jesus movement was moving beyond its Jewish, Jerusalem community and into a diverse, global body. The opposite of tribalism. And that’s where our story picks up.

An angel of the Lord tells Philip to go to an unusual place; not to a city, or to someone’s home, but to a road. A road is not a destination though, especially one that’s in the wilderness. But Philip, ever obedient, goes to this deserted highway. What for, exactly, he doesn’t know…

Until he hears the clopping of hooves pulling a chariot. Were told the passenger inside is an Ethiopian Eunuch.

Talk about a person who was not like Philip. In the time of the early church, the term Ethiopian referred broadly to people with black skin. In other ancient near eastern literature, Ethiopian meant someone who was from the farthest ends of the earth.

Not to mention that this person's gender was quite questionable. As castrated males, eunuchs didn’t fit into the gender norms of the Roman world. They weren’t considered men because they couldn’t produce children. But they weren’t seen as women either. And because they didn’t fit neatly into the binary, they were often an object of scorn.

Yet this Eunuch is at the same time powerful. He’s literate and wealthy enough to have a chariot at his disposal and a scroll of Isaiah. Nonetheless, he could not be more different from Philip. But the Holy Spirit doesn’t care about differences. The Spirit tells Philip to go to the chariot. I imagine Philip running to catch up with the chariot. Breathing heavily and gripping the window, he yells his question at the passenger. What would you do if someone did that to you while driving on 52? My guess is you wouldn’t invite them in your car!

But what ensues here is an interaction marked by holy curiosity. Both ask questions and invite more conversation: Do you understand what you're reading, asks Philip? No, I need a guide, says the Eunuch. Neither pretends to know more than they do. Both are incredibly vulnerable considering what has just happened to each of them.

Philip just had a fellow disciple killed for preaching about Jesus and here he is telling a complete stranger all about him? And the Eunuch had just gone to Jerusalem for worship, but because he was a Eunuch he wasn’t allowed in the temple to worship. It would be like coming here, being denied entrance into the sanctuary, and watching worship from the welcome space.

You’d think after that kind of rejection, the Eunuch would be done with organized religion. Yet, he asks Philip to tell him about this passage in Isaiah.

The result is two of the unlikeliest of people, in an unlikely location, being joined together as siblings in Christ through the water of baptism. [Rejoicing and changed as they walk away from this encounter]

That’s exactly what the Holy Spirit does. As Willie James Jennings puts it: the Holy Spirit rarely if ever sends us where we want to go or to whom we would want to go. Indeed the Spirit seems to always be pressing us to go to those to whom we would in fact strongly prefer never to share space, or a meal, and definitely not life together. Yet it is precisely this prodding to be boundary-crossing and border-transgressing that marks the presence of the Holy Spirit.

Who is your tribe telling you to fear? Who are you afraid of because you’ve been told they are the source of your problems or the problems in the world? Whoever they are, they are likely people very different from you, as different as Philip from the Eunuch.

And yet, the gospel tells us that through the Holy Spirit, a relationship is possible; doing life together with empathy and understanding is possible, working together to further the kingdom of God is possible. So perhaps what we need most in this time of deep divide among tribes is a holy curiosity: asking questions that invite more conversation, not acting like we know more than we do, and a vulnerability to go to the person and places we never thought we would.

What would your life look like if you, if we practiced obedience to the Spirit’s leading? Where would you go? Whom would you meet and engage with? What would our life together as Cross of Grace look like if we did the same? Where would we be led? Who is waiting for us there?

Life in the Spirit means we do not fear those different from ourselves. We engage with holy curiosity. And we walk away rejoicing; changed. When we do this, no one loses, everyone wins.

Such is the kingdom of God.

Amen


Grieving Well - Places That Have Not Known Love

Matthew 18:10-14

‘Take care that you do not despise one of these little ones; for, I tell you, in heaven their angels continually see the face of my Father in heaven.* What do you think? If a shepherd has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray? And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine that never went astray. So it is not the will of your* Father in heaven that one of these little ones should be lost.


Have you ever made rock candy? I have not. But the process isn’t that hard. [Start video] To make rock candy you wrap a piece of string around something and let some of it hang down. Then you take a glass, combine water and sugar until it makes a thick solution, and then you drop that string down into the water. For a while nothing happens, a day, two days go by and you don’t notice a big change. But then all of a sudden, when the saturation point is reached, the sugar molecules begin to crystallize around the string. More and more crystals form, making the string harder and harder. Eventually, the string is completely calloused over with these crystals. That is how you make rock candy and it’s how shame works.

Over the past many weeks we have journeyed together through different forms of grief or different ways we experience grief. Some were obvious and common. Others were nuanced and unexplored.

Tonight we have one more kind of grief and it is perhaps the one many of us least want to address: grief for the places that have not known love. As Francis Weller explains, “These are profoundly tender places precisely because they have lived outside of kindness, compassion, warmth, or welcome. These are the places within us that have been wrapped in shame and banished to the farthest shores of our lives. We often hate these parts of ourselves, hold them in contempt, and refuse to allow them the light of day.”

We all have these parts of ourselves. It might be one’s body or a part of it that you loathe or won’t look at in the mirror, bringing about the self-image you’ve struggled with all your life. It might be the neglect you endured growing up or face now, leaving you feeling rejected and not just that you did something wrong, but feeling that something is wrong with you.

It might be abuse, physical, mental, or sexual, that you survived but have locked away hidden in the dark out of fear of judgment or reliving the trauma.

It might be one’s sexuality, the realization of who you were made to love, and at the same time rejecting that with all you can, afraid of rejection from family, friends, even your own faith.

And here is how shame is like making rock candy. We can endure some neglect or hurt. We can withstand some berating, self-criticism, and disappointment. But then there comes a point when we can’t. And with enough repetition, by staying in that solution too long, crystals grow around that thing and we become hardened. The internal stories associated with those events reach their saturation point and the fictions, the lies, the hurt crystallize into things that feel like truths we cannot break.

What is the thing in your life, in your very soul for which you are ashamed. We all have this and we all do our best to cast it out to the deepest, darkest parts of our souls where we hope it goes to die. But it doesn’t. Instead, we end up carrying around this shame, and it separates us from others and ourselves, bending us over, pulling us down so that we no longer gaze into the eyes of others, because the last thing we want when we feel such shame and self-doubt, is to be seen.

So like the sheep in the parable, we try to run off, to hide, to go astray. That is what shame does: it makes us think it’s better to be alone because at least then no one will know my shame.

Yet, that’s not how Jesus, our shepherd, works. The catch in the parable is that if one sheep goes astray, no shepherd in their right mind would leave the other 99! But this shepherd does. Here the words of the Psalmist as if Jesus, our shepherd, is saying them to you: “I have searched you and known you… I have discerned your thoughts… I am acquainted with all your ways… I know you completely. I surround you and protect you.

There is no place where I can’t find you or won’t go to save you. In your joyous moments and when shame has you in the pit of hell, I am there. You say you dwell in the darkness, but that’s where I do my best work. For only in darkness can my light shine through.”

Shame hardens our hearts; it makes us feel as though parts of us are outside of God’s reach, as if we are unloveable. But that is a lie. You are sought out, you are known, you are loved. In Jesus, God takes all our shame and the sin that caused it, and puts it to shame on the cross. We need not carry it anymore.

But what can we do? Is there anything, other than hearing this good news, that helps us address the shame that's hardened within us? And this is where grief comes in. “what we feel ashamed of, what we perceive as defective or flawed about ourselves, we also experience as loss. And the proper response to any loss is grief.”

So what can we do to move from shame to grief?

Here are three things: One, we begin to see ourselves not as worthless but as wounded. Because, if we are honest, that’s what we are. We have been wounded by ourselves, by others, and by a society that feeds off of shaming. And yet you have worth! You are made worthy through the grace and love of Jesus. It has been bestowed to you, given to you, and nothing can ever take that away from you.

Second, once we recognize our hurt, we can begin to see ourselves with compassion rather than contempt. With less condemnation and more understanding. The samaritan looked upon the stranger and had compassion. Out of compassion, Jesus fed the 5,000, gave sight to the blind, healed the sick, and forgave those who put him on the cross. The path to forgiveness for others and healing for yourself begins with a posture of compassion, never scorn or disdain.

Lastly, move from silence to sharing. This is nothing new. Over the last few weeks, we’ve heard the importance of sharing our grief. And The same is true for our shame. When we share it, all that pulls us down or keeps us away is lifted and we can begin to grieve the loss we’ve experienced. So share it with a trusted friend, with a trusted therapist or counselor, or with a trusted pastor. Most of all, share it with God and hide it no longer.

Let the love of Jesus break through the hardened lies that shame has formed inside our souls, giving light to our darkest parts.

Tonight we will practice exactly that. On your chair you have a candle. As Jeannie plays this next hymn, share your shame with God in prayer. Tell God of the parts of you that have not known love, the parts you’ve tried to hide. Invite God into those very places, to heal our wounds, move us to compassion, and soften our hardened hearts. Then, when ready, light your candle and place it on the way. And together we will see that the light shines in the darkness and the darkness cannot overcome it.

Amen.