Prayer

God the Persistent Widow


Luke 18:1-8

Then Jesus told them a parable about their need to pray always and not to lose heart.

He said, “In a certain city there was a judge who neither feared God nor had respect for people. In that city there was a widow who kept coming to him and saying, ‘Grant me justice against my accuser.’ For a while he refused, but later he said to himself,

‘Though I have no fear of God and no respect for anyone, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will grant her justice, so that she may not wear me out by continually coming.’”

And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God grant justice to his chosen ones who cry to him day and night?

Will he delay long in helping them? I tell you, he will quickly grant justice to them.

And yet, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?”


“We don’t take no for an answer.” That was the motto of Sisters of Mercy JoAnn Persch and Pat Murphy — the two women I affectionately call my nuns. I’ve talked about these holy troublemakers before, you may remember, but with today’s story of a persistent widow, I can’t help returning to the two most persistent people I’ve ever met.

In 2007, on a cold, rainy Friday — the day buses rolled out of the Broadview Deportation Center bound for the airport — the sisters stood on the sidewalk and prayed. They prayed for the men being deported and the families left behind, for the judges who signed the orders, the ICE agents who carried them out, and the lawmakers who wrote the policies. Then they went home.

But the next Friday, they came back. And the next. Rain or shine, they kept showing up. When they asked to go inside and accompany the families as they said goodbye, the answer was no. When they asked again, the answer was still no.

Finally, the top ICE official in Chicago — who knew them by name at this point — said, “You can’t come in here. But you might try McHenry County Jail. They could use some pastoral care.” So they called. Again the answer was no.

So they lobbied, wrote letters, met with legislators — and got a new law passed that allowed spiritual care in detention centers. Eventually they were even permitted to board the buses and offer a final blessing as they pulled away.

Sister Pat used to tell me:

“You see, Cogan, we get told no all the time. People, especially those in power, underestimate us because of how old we are and what we look like. But we don’t get discouraged. We work peacefully and persistently. We do what needs doing. And we don’t take no for an answer.”

The sisters remind me that we’ve had the wrong image of widows all along: in Scripture and in this parable. When we hear the word widow, all the old stereotypes rush in: a poor, frail, vulnerable woman begging for help. But that’s not the picture the Bible paints, and it’s not the woman Jesus describes today.

Think of Tamar, who risked everything to secure justice when others denied it to her.

Or Ruth, who crossed borders and broke norms to provide for herself and Naomi. The widow of Zarephath, who spoke truth to the prophet and demanded that God make good on divine promises. The widow of Nain, whose grief moved Jesus to act and whose life was restored along with her son’s.

As one scholar put it, Biblical widows aren’t weak. “They move mountains; they’re expected to be poor, but prove savvy stewards; expected to be exploited, they take advantage where they find it.” Truth be told, most churches today run not because of pastors but because of faithful women, on the front lines and behind the scenes, who keep showing up, praying, organizing, and holding it all together.

Most of us have heard this parable preached the same way: if even an unjust judge will finally give in to a widow’s cry, how much more will God hear and answer when we cry out? In that reading, God is the opposite of the judge — fair, responsive, merciful. And that’s a good and faithful way to read it.

But lately I’ve wondered: what if the story turns the other way? What if God isn’t the opposite of the unjust judge, but rather the persistent, justice-demanding widow herself? What if we are the ones sitting in the judge’s seat, reluctant, distracted, slow to listen, until finally, through prayer, through people, through grace, we give in?

Because that’s how I’ve come to recognize God’s work in Scripture and in my own life. God calls, nudges, insists, pushes people to do what God wants done — until we finally yield.

Think of Abraham and Moses, Jonah and Jeremiah, Paul and even Pharaoh. God persists, sometimes pesters, always prevails.

In this moment, I think we look a lot more like the judge. With all the division and distrust around us, it’s easy to say, I’ve lost all respect for those people. I’ve lost respect for those who vote differently than me. For those protesting and for those who don’t.

For Democrats. For Republicans.For anyone who dares to enjoy the Super Bowl halftime show.

We laugh, but it’s true. Like the judge, we’ve grown tired and cynical. We’ve lost trust — not only in one another, but sometimes in God’s work and timing in the world. And I don’t say that to shame anyone. I understand it. Things feel difficult, dangerous, and disheartening. War still rages in Ukraine. A ceasefire hangs by a thread in Gaza. Inequality deepens across the globe.

And closer to home, many of us are still waiting: for healing that doesn’t come, for a relationship to mend, for a prayer to be answered but only seems to echo in the abyss.

After enough of that, you start praying less, not because you’ve stopped believing, but because you’re tired of being disappointed. Eventually, no prayer feels safer than another unanswered one. And before long, like the judge, you stop looking for God altogether. You decide it’s up to you to figure it out.

Maybe that’s how the judge became who he was — not heartless, but hardened. Not evil, just exhausted.

But the story doesn’t end there, because, like my nuns, God doesn’t give up that easily.

When we least expect it, God, like the widow, starts pursuing us. And that’s what happens in prayer. Often we think prayer is us pursuing God. But what if it’s the opposite.

What if prayer isn’t just our words reaching to heaven; it’s God reaching toward us. In the quiet moments of our days, in the stillness when we try to rest, God is there: tugging at our hearts, stirring us awake, urging us not to give up hope, to forgive and seek forgiveness, to hold on to the relationships that matter, to see the dignity and humanity in every person.

As the great Danish theologian Søren Kierkegaard once said, “Prayer does not change God, but it changes the one who offers it.”

The judge finally relents, but not out of compassion. The text says he does it “so she won’t bother me.” That’s the polite, cleaned-up translation. A truer rendering of the Greek is something like, “so she doesn’t give me a black eye,” or, as one commentator puts it, “so she doesn’t slap me in the face.” Now that’s a granny with some grit!

And before we get too quick to dismiss that image, the idea that God might wrestle or wear us down, remember Jacob. He wrestled with God all night long until daybreak, refusing to let go until he received a blessing. He didn’t walk away untouched; he limped for the rest of his life.

Because that’s what real encounters with God do, they leave a mark.

Richard Foster once wrote, “Our prayer efforts are a genuine give-and-take, a true dialogue with God, and a true struggle.”

Prayer, at its deepest, isn’t about soothing words or easy answers. It’s a holy struggle; one that leaves us changed: sometimes limping, sometimes bruised, but always blessed and better because of it.

Pat Murphy passed away this past July at the young age of ninety-six. At her bedside, the last thing JoAnn said to her was, “Pat, remember, we don’t take no for an answer. When you get to heaven, you go to God, and you don’t take no for an answer. We need help down here — help for our immigrants, help for our country.”

Prayer is the process by which God makes us less like the judge and more like Sister Pat:

one whose whole life is a prayer, offering respect for all people, trusting that God is at work in the world and through her, and demanding justice and peace in a world that needs so much of both.

So, in the words of Jesus, pray always. Don’t lose heart. And, in the words of the Nuns, don’t take no for an answer.

If we do that, God will indeed find faith: the faith of a widow.

Amen.

Asking for a Friend - Thy Kingdom Come?

Matthew 6:7-13

“When you are praying, do not heap up empty phrases as the gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

“Pray, then, in this way:

Our Father in heaven,

    may your name be revered as holy.

    May your kingdom come.

    May your will be done

        on earth as it is in heaven.

    Give us today our daily bread.

    And forgive us our debts,

        as we also have forgiven our debtors.

    And do not bring us to the time of trial,

        but rescue us from the evil one.

“For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you,

We begin a new series today called “Asking for a Friend: Real Questions. Honest Faith.” Usually we say Asking for a friend jokingly, when we want to know something for ourselves but might be too shy or embarrassed to ask. Yet, over the past several weeks we have gathered questions that you want answered. We’ve taken those questions, grouped a few, and over the next eight weeks we will answer each of them. In a literal sense, these people have asked their question, not just for themselves but for you too. Because I am certain with each question someone else sitting here or watching will say, I had the same question. You are the “friend” in this series. 

And what a gift it is to have thoughtful, honest questions raised about all sorts of faith things: from prayer to evolution, biblical interpretation to politics, heaven and hell, and more. We will do our best not to provide simple, sure answers, but to wrestle openly, honestly, faithfully with the questions raised. A favorite quip in our household comes from a college professor Katelyn and I both had who said, one’s faith is only as strong as their willingness to question it. Hopefully this series will do exactly that; strengthen our faith through the questions we engage.

So to our first question, “what exactly do we mean when we say, ‘thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.’” I love this question for lots of reasons. It is concise and clear, as are all the best questions. It’s one of the rare occurrences when Jesus gives exact words to say. We often get things to do, fewer things to say, and even fewer to pray. So I’d say that it’s worth our study. 

And lastly, it is about something so familiar that rarely, if ever, do we stop to ask, what am I, what are we, actually saying? We pray this prayer aloud, together, every Sunday. You probably say it throughout the week. But when was the last time you wondered “ what am I praying for with this prayer?” 

But beware, “thy kingdom come, thy will be done” is a dangerous prayer. Dangerous for the world as we know it, and for us.

It’s dangerous for the world because it is, in part, a political prayer. I’m guessing you never thought you were bringing politics into your prayer life every time you said the Lord’s Prayer—but indeed we are. And we can blame Jesus for that. Because in those three little words—thy kingdom come—Jesus is saying an awful lot. 

The kingdom on earth in Jesus’ time was Rome. A few wealthy men ruled, including Herod. Those who served the empire or its military were well off. There was no middle class. Everyone else—local businesspeople, artisans, and especially fishermen and farmers—were peasants, including Jesus. 

Herod was the ruler of Galilee, where Jesus grew up and began his ministry. But Galilee was under Roman rule, which meant Herod answered to Rome, not to his people. Like all earthly empires, this one hurt people, kept power in the hands of a few, and disregarded the lives of many, especially the people Jesus spent most of his time with.

So when Jesus says thy kingdom come, he’s saying: “things are not as they should be. 

This empire of violence, oppression, and greed must be undone—stopped, even replaced. 

And in its place, give us your kingdom, Lord.” 

Which, if we pay attention to how Jesus describes it, is a rather radical thing to pray for. 

A kingdom where the last are first and the first last? 

A kingdom like a wedding party where the invited guests refuse to come, so people off the street—good and bad alike—are welcomed instead? 

A kingdom described as seeds and weeds and small, insignificant things? That’s what Jesus wants us to pray for? 

A kingdom that couldn’t be more at odds with the world as it is? 

Yes. Exactly.

Jesus praying that prayer—and telling others to pray it too—was a threat to Herod and to Rome. Which shouldn’t surprise us. After all, Jesus had been a threat to the kingdoms of the world since his birth.

What that means for us is that we too are asking for God’s kingdom to come, reforming all the violent, oppressive, greedy kingdoms of this world. It means we recognize that things are not as they should be in this world: hungry children dying in Gaza, a week ago today 5 kids were shot not 10 miles from here, the wealthy growing wealthier while others are crushed by scarcity. 

And because of all that and more, we long to be part of God’s kingdom—a kingdom of grace and mercy, of debts forgiven and cheeks turned, of self-sacrifice and love. When we pray thy kingdom come, we are praying not only for us to be in the kingdom, but for the kingdom to be in us. That we might be God’s kingdom at work in the world. Sounds pretty dangerous to me. But perhaps no more dangerous than the next part: thy will be done.

And for this I need to share a story about my son, Clive. He is a wonderful, joyous, and downright defiant little creature. I have never known someone so uncooperative in all my life! 

Last week we were trying to get breakfast together. I asked him, "Do you want some oatmeal?" and he said, "No! I want candy!"

"No buddy, we don’t eat candy for breakfast."

"But that’s what I want."

"Clive, you can’t eat candy for breakfast."

"I want blue candy for breakfast!"

I thought, I can’t even think of what candy that might be… 

So I said again, "Clive, we can’t have candy for breakfast, it’s not good for us."

To which he responded, "But it’s yummy and I want it!" and then proceeded to sprawl on the floor and cry. All I could do was laugh.

But it made me think: this is how God must see us. Wonderful, joyous, but downright defiant little creatures who do what they will, regardless of whether it’s what God wills for us.

When we say, “thy will be done”, we’re recognizing that the things we want are not always what they should be; like blue candy for breakfast, or whatever the newest, greatest product is. 

We live in a culture that says the perfect life is always one more purchase away—one more pill, one more upgrade, one more new thing. But the life we want is always just out of reach.

So we pray thy will be done.

We beg God to take away our heart’s desires and replace them with God’s desires.

That’s dangerous.

Because God’s will might not look like what we want.

It might hurt. It might be uncomfortable. It might change us entirely. That was the case for Jesus, after all.

When we say those four little words, we’re really saying: Have mercy on us, Lord.

Don’t let things happen just because we want them to.

Give us patience.

Give us grace.

Give us strength.

To bear whatever you ask of us—

crucifying our will,

And raising up your divine will in its place.

That’s a dangerous prayer indeed.

We’re not just confessing that the world is marked by sin and sorrow—we’re admitting that we are too. So we ask God to change us so that we might go and change the world, little by little, bit by bit, until this world and those on it feel like we are in heaven, which is the goal, isn’t it? 

And by this, I don’t mean heaven, as a place, but as a condition - because to be in heaven is nothing other than being with God. So when God’s way of doing things takes over the world and our hearts, we will be with God and God will be with us in the best, fullest way possible. In that way, earth will be as it is in heaven. 

And that sounds even better than blue candy for breakfast. 

Amen.