Reflecting Light

John 1:1-18

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things came into being through him, and without him not one thing came into being. What has come into being in him was life, and the life was the light of all people. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it.

There was a man sent from God, whose name was John. He came as a witness to testify to the light, so that all might believe through him. He himself was not the light, but he came to testify to the light. The true light, which enlightens everyone, was coming into the world.

He was in the world, and the world came into being through him; yet the world did not know him. He came to what was his own, and his own people did not accept him. But to all who received him, who believed in his name, he gave power to become children of God, who were born, not of blood or of the will of the flesh or of the will of man, but of God.

And the Word became flesh and lived among us, and we have seen his glory, the glory as of a father’s only son, full of grace and truth. (John testified to him and cried out, ‘This was he of whom I said, “He who comes after me ranks ahead of me because he was before me.” ’) From his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. The law indeed was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. No one has ever seen God. It is God the only Son, who is close to the Father’s heart, who has made him known.

---

Everything is in crisis now. Or at least that's how it feels. And I don’t mean that flippantly. As we look back on 2024, there were and still are crises that touch nearly every aspect of life and corner of the world. There’s the climate crisis, with 2024 being called the hottest year on record. All last year we heard about the crisis of democracy leading up to the election. There’s the immigration crisis, the housing crisis, and humanitarian crises too many to count.

Last month, we talked about the communication crisis—our inability to talk and see one another—which is connected to the social media crisis, the loneliness crisis, and the mental health crisis, especially among teens.

Not to mention the crisis of the church, with a new report from Gallup just a few days ago saying that communal worship is at an all-time low. Undoubtedly, there are more that come to your mind. And when you think of all these crises, the world seems like a dark, dark place.

It’s easy to think that by calling something a crisis, everyone else will understand it as such. We assume they’ll drop everything and urgently do all they can to address the problem. Nat Kendall-Taylor, a communications specialist, put it this way in a recent New York Times article,

“There’s this expectation that, ‘if only people knew how bad the problem was, they would trip over themselves, running to support my initiative.’” But is that how it works?

All around us, people are yelling about another crisis and how terrible things are. Then there’s a command: “Do this, or the world—or people—be damned.” And while they may be right, people don’t like being told what to do. If anything, all the noise wears us out. As Kendall-Taylor put it, “We tire very quickly of being told that everything is on fire,” because it makes the world seem beyond repair and convinces us that nothing we do will make a difference. Naming crises without more leaves us feeling like, well, how the law makes us feel.

“The law indeed was given through Moses,” writes John. The law is all the commands and rules given to not only the Israelites but to us too, so that we live as God’s holy people—set apart from everyone else, yet a blessing to them at the same time. Think of the 10 commandments, or the command to love God and love your neighbor, or the commands for justice.

For generations, the Israelites tried to keep the law and do all the commands, but they never did. It was always God forgiving, renewing, and upholding their relationship. We know what that’s like. We try to do all those things and fail just the same. The law though was never meant to be the ladder by which people climbed out of their darkness to God. It was the thing that showed our need for God to come down into our darkness. If all we had was the law, we’d be left in despair, knowing we can’t keep it, that we are helpless when left to ourselves.

That’s how I feel about all these crises, too! They point out how bad things are and give commands, but leave us feeling in despair; like the darkness is not only all around, but has made its way into our hearts too; because not only can we do nothing to stop the crisis, nothing and no one can help us either.

Yet there is something that can help our fatalism, and the world’s too. Rather than simply alerting everyone to a crisis, Kendall-Taylor suggests, “A far better strategy for instilling urgency and inspiring action toward a problem is to show people that real solutions lie at the ready.”

Give a solution to the darkness. Share a story that inspires action! In other words, after the law, tell the good news.

Nativity at Night by Geertgen tot Sint Jans

And the good news for us and for all the world is that God couldn’t leave us to a darkness of our own making. So God entered our darkness to give us light. “The law indeed was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.” Grace always follows the law because grace is what saves us. So often, we think of grace as a thing, but it’s not. Grace is a person. And grace comes to us as a baby in a manger, giving not just us but all of creation life and light.

It is the light of Jesus that dispels all the darkness. Not even the darkness of death could stop it from shining.

But in the manger, the light doesn’t look all that bright. If you look at many of the masterpiece paintings of the nativity, like this one by Geertgen tot Sint Jans, you see small rays of light coming from the manger. Everything else around it is dark, illumined only by how close it is to the manger. That captures the truth of what God’s coming into the world means for us and the darkness all around.

We are not the light of the world. Our job is not to expel all the darkness in the world. We can’t even get rid of the darkness in our hearts, let alone someone else’s. No, our job is to get as close to the manger as we can. And by doing that, we reflect the light of Jesus Christ in the darkest of places.That’s the story we have to share: one of light coming into our darkness, of abundant grace when it’s least deserved, of a loving God who would not and will not leave us to face our crises alone.

Our job is to reflect the light, to come close to the manger, to share the grace and truth we have seen and received through Jesus Christ. And I see that light reflected here, like in your generosity as you helped our grace quest kids hit their fundraising goal and in just one month you gave nearly $9,000 to help people quite literally living in darkness recover. I hear about the light shining through the service of our agape ministry, in the meals served and relationships formed. I witnessed it when our young families gathered together in Advent, growing in community and staving off loneliness.

These small acts may not solve all the crises of the world, but they shine Christ’s light in powerful ways.

That’s why at baptisms, we give just a small candle with a single wick. We don’t give out spotlights saying, “so let your light shine before others.” No, the light of Christ is passed on by a single, small flame, reminding us that just a little light scatters so much darkness.

As you look back on this year, where have you seen the light of Christ reflected in the world?

For me, I can’t help but think of Jimmy Carter, who became a beacon of light after his presidency. Through the Carter Center and Habitat for Humanity, he brought dignity to lives overshadowed by poverty and illuminated paths to peace and justice in some of the world’s darkest corners. Even in the twilight of his life, you could find Jimmy Carter nearly every Sunday sitting under fluorescents in a sanctuary in Plains, Georgia, leading Bible study. He knew that he himself was not the light but lived as close to the light as he could, reflecting the grace and truth of Jesus in all that he did.

As we enter 2025, we will face crises old and new, but we do not face them alone. The light that began in the manger still shines, calling us to draw near, reflect its grace, and share its truth.

The darkness is undeniable, but it is not final. So as we step into this new year, let’s keep reflecting the light — through our generosity, our service, and our care for one another and the world around us — believing that light shines in the darkness, and the darkness will not overcome. Amen

Blue Christmas: The Wound, The Route, The Gift

John 20:24-28

But Thomas (who was called the Twin), one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hands in his side, I will not believe.”

A week later, the disciples were again in the house, and this time Thomas was with them. Jesus came, again, and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” And he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand put it in my side. Do not doubt, but believe.” Thomas said to him, “My Lord, and my God.”

---

David Brooks, in his book, How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen, the inspiration behind our Advent journey this season, tells some beautiful and hard stories about grief and despair and suffering. He gives some sad statistics about how and why we are such a disconnected people these days – and about what it means to experience hardships ourselves, to learn to see them in others, and to walk with others – and each other – through the struggles of this life.

If you’ve picked up the book, but haven’t made your way into it, yet – and you’re here tonight – maybe Part 2, Chapter 8, page 97, is a place you could begin reading. (If you don’t have this book – or don’t know or care about any of that – fear not; none of it is necessary. I plan to fill in all the gaps you might be missing.)

But in discussing what it means to see one another in our struggles, David Brooks tells part of Frederick Buechner’s story. Buechner was a Presbyterian minister, theologian and very prolific author – a few of who’s books were required reading in my Pastoral Care and Counseling courses back in seminary. When Buechner was just ten years old – and his younger brother, only 8 – their dad peaked in them early one morning in their bedroom before they were set to go on a family outing about which the brothers were quite excited.

It was too early that morning to get up so the boys stayed in bed, in their room, anticipating the fun day they had planned. As Brooks writes it, “A little while later, they heard a scream and the sounds of doors opening and closing. They looked out their window and saw their father lying in the gravel driveway, with their mother and grandmother, barefoot and still in their nightgowns, leaning over him. Each woman had one of his legs in her hands. They were lifting his legs up and down as if they were operating two handles of a pump. Nearby, the garage door was open and blue smoke was billowing out.

“… their father had gassed himself to death. It took them a few days to find the suicide note, which their dad had scratched in pencil on the last page of Gone with the Wind. It was addressed to their mom, [and said]: ‘I adore you and love you, and am no good … Give Freddy my watch. Give Jamie my pearl pin. I give you all my love.’”

Within just a couple of months, Buechner’s mother moved them to Bermuda, where they started a new life, and little Freddy effectively avoided and denied whatever grief he would have/could have/should have probably wrestled with until he couldn’t avoid it any longer – when he became a young adult. His work as a teacher and author helped with that, as did more life experiences and research into his dad’s past and family history. Sadly, and surprisingly, it wasn’t until he reached middle age that Frederick Buechner was able to cry real tears – to actually grieve – the loss of the father he loved very much.

I picked this story to tell, because I agree with David Brooks: that the trajectory and experience of Frederick Buechner’s grief is a familiar one for many people.

See if this scenario sounds familiar:

Some sadness, struggle, or even tragedy strikes. There is a period of shock and grief that feels too great to face or engage, so that grief – and all the emotions that come along with it – are packed away, avoided, denied, whatever. We suck it up and move on, because we think that will be easier. We brave the grief alone, or quietly, because that looks like “strength” to us – and that supposed “strength” is often affirmed as such by the world around us. At the very least, maybe we minimize whatever grief or struggle finds us because we are needed by others – children, parents, spouses – or because we don’t want to appear weak, or to be a burden or a buzz-kill, or something of the like.

(Again, not that anyone here would ever … but does any of this sound familiar?)

Whatever the case, this can go on for quite some time … until it can’t anymore. In Frederick Buechner’s case, it took decades before it caught up with him and before he was finally able to find meaning and new life through the grief he learned to experience and engage over having lost his father so young and so tragically.

Anderson Cooper tells a similar story. (I know I am a broken record about Anderson Cooper and his podcast “All There Is,” and I’m sorry – not sorry – that I bring it up every chance I get. If nothing else I have to say tonight resonates or sounds encouraging or helpful to you, make listening to that podcast part of your holy homework soon and very soon. I propose – I almost promise – it will either help you find some words and wisdom about whatever grief you’ve already experienced, or it will prepare you for the grief that will find you – as it does us all – at some point in our lives.)

Anyway, the whole reason Anderson Cooper started this podcast a few years ago, where he interviews others all and only about their grief is because – at the age of 55 – he realized he had never been taught or encouraged to engage, let alone wrestle with or mend, the deep grief he endured by losing his father to heart-failure when he was just 10 years old (like Frederick Beuchner was); or the grief he suffered after losing his 23 year-old brother to suicide when he was just 21.

Instead of grieving well, Anderson says as a young adult, he traveled the world, risking his life to report on wars and tragedies and disasters – literally on a global scale – so that, while simultaneously running from and avoiding his own grief, he could subconsciously measure that kind of horrific sadness against his own, and maybe see how other people survived in the face of it.

Anderson Cooper embodies Frederick Buechner’s suggestion that, even though we long more than anything to be known fully, grief – even though it is utterly universal – may be one of the things that is most difficult to embrace, admit, or share about ourselves.

It’s why what we’re up to tonight is as practical as it is holy to me. It’s why I’m so grateful you’ve showed up. It’s why I wish this place was as full tonight as it will be on Christmas Eve.

See, on a recent episode of that podcast, Anderson Cooper interviewed the actor Andrew Garfield, who talked about the loss of his mother. And Andrew Garfield said something so profound it’s been making its way around the internet, lately. Maybe you’ve seen or heard it.

“The wound is the only route to the gift.”

I wonder if, when Jesus showed up for the disciples after his death – and then again to Thomas, who refused to believe it …

I wonder if he was doing even more than proving his identity … if he was doing more, even, than just showing evidence of his resurrection …

I wonder if, when Jesus showed off the wounds in his hands and on his sides… If, when he invited Thomas to put his fingers “here” and to see his hands, to reach out his own hands and to touch the wounded sides of Jesus…

I wonder if Jesus was offering Thomas healing for the deep grief he surely felt, and if he was showing them all – and us, too – that “the wound is the only route to the gift” that even our grief can be for us, as people of faith.

Not that we would ever choose the grief that comes our way …

Not that we deserve the deep sadness and struggle that finds us, too often, on this side of heaven …

But that, because God shows up in Jesus to walk the way of suffering before and beside us as we go, we can remind ourselves and each other that God does God’s best work in the dark, sad, scary places of our lives.

See, I believe God showed up, in Jesus, to remind us that the only way through the grief that finds us in this life – and toward the healing and hope we desire and deserve – is to trust that it won’t last forever; that we don’t need to fear or deny or avoid or pretend that it shouldn’t exist; that we can come to and through the wounds of our sadness and struggle… We can touch and tend to what hurts us most… (“The wound is the only route to the gift.”)

And we can share all of that with one another, without fear, shame, or hesitation. And we can let the light of God’s grace – the light that shines in the darkness – shine in our direction, too. And we can let it heal what we cannot, on our own … and we can let it bless our lives with the love that is born for us all, even and especially in our darkest days … with thanks for this Jesus – who was, who is, and who is to come.

Amen. Merry Christmas.