Mark 10:2-16

Some Pharisees came, and to test him they asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” He answered them, “What did Moses command you?” They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of dismissal and to divorce her.” But Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote this commandment for you. But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

Then in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter. He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”

People were bringing little children to him in order that he might touch them; and the disciples spoke sternly to them. But when Jesus saw this, he was indignant and said to them, “Let the little children come to me; do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs. Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it.” And he took them up in his arms, laid hands on them, and blessed them.

First off, like last week, there are several sermons to be preached from this batch of verses from Mark’s Gospel. Also like last week, we don’t have time for all of them on one Sunday morning. So my little prelude and disclaimer about what’s to come is that these verses seem to speak to a traditional version of marriage – the one between a man and a woman – that I don’t believe precludes or dismisses or needs to deny the notion that other versions of faithful marriage exist, as we know, in our day and age.

And notice I said “traditional” view of marriage, not “Biblical” view of marriage, because Jesus doesn’t say boo here about the plural marriage, or the concubines, or the surrogate slave birth mothers that are described without apology throughout Holy Scripture.

And, preaching from the assigned lectionary means I have to play with the cards I’m dealt sometimes. So my hope is we can see that, whatever your experience with marriage may be – if any – there’s a lesson and inspiration here for us all. Now, for some Ted Lasso.

There isn’t enough Ted Lasso in the world, in my opinion. If you haven’t seen the show, I couldn’t recommend it more highly. It’s a series about an American football coach who (accidentally I think?) signs up to be the coach of a European soccer team. Rebecca, the woman in this clip, is the owner of that soccer team who, if I remember correctly, acquired the team as part of her divorce settlement. In the short scene I’ll show you, she’s about to confess all the terrible things she has done to make the team fail – all and only as revenge against her ex-husband, from whom she has endured a very bitter divorce.

[Video Clip]

Again, if you haven’t seen it, do. Next time there’s a deal on Apple TV, subscribe just long enough to binge Ted Lasso and then cancel your subscription. You won’t regret it.

But, all of this is to say, I think Jesus is at least as sympathetic, gracious, and forgiving as Ted Lasso when it comes to whatever leads to divorce between married people, and toward whatever might come as a result of it. Divorce is hard, plain and simple – even when it goes well. And God knows it.

So this morning – as usual – we're allowed to see more in this Gospel than just a conversation about men and women; or marriage and divorce; and certainly more than fear, condemnation, or apocalyptic judgment about any of that. Like we find – more often than not – when we're willing to open our hearts and minds to all that Jesus is up to, he has more to say today about love and grace and mercy than we might notice at first glance … and more than too many people have offered up on his behalf and in his name over the years, where things like divorce are concerned.

Right away we know the Pharisees are up to something. Right away we're told they're interested in testing or tricking Jesus. Because they knew questions about the Law, like the legality of divorce, were tricky ones to answer. They knew Jesus' answer – whether he defended the practice of divorce or denounced it – would get him into trouble with one side or the other. They knew that if Jesus spoke about what was legally right or wrong; about what was legally acceptable or not; about what was legally good or bad – according to the black and white letter of the Law according to Moses – Jesus was between a rock and hard place.

He asks about Moses. He lets them know he sees where they're coming from. And he either sympathizes with them or chastises them when he explains how the Law of Moses addressed their hardness of heart. The Law of Moses spoke to their stubbornness. Like so much else, when it came to divorce, the Law of Moses addressed the hard reality that people – children of God, like you and me – just can't seem to get it right enough of the time. The Law of Moses addressed the sad truth that the brokenness of marriage would come because of the brokenness of those who would be married in the first place.

And, Jesus knew better then to be pulled into their little game of tug-of-war. Jesus knew better then to fall for their transparent little tricks. And, Jesus knew he could use their lame little "Q and A" to share grace instead of judgment; to offer hope instead of fear; and to teach about God's promises rather throw stones about God's condemnation.

Last week, I mentioned that we are allowed and encouraged to read the Bible LITERATELY, rather than LITERALLY, and I’m grateful for that. (It’s why we don’t lop off our hands or pluck out our eyes if they cause us to sin, remember.) Well, I’m going to add to that this morning something I’ve been convicted about and convinced of over the years. I think we’re also called to read the Bible, not just LITERATELY, but LOVINGLY, too … searching for and finding, without apology, the kind of grace we know, believe in, and hope for in Jesus.

And that’s what I find when Mark’s Gospel includes this moment with Jesus and the kids, just after what sound like harsh, hard-to-swallow words about marriage, divorce, and adultery.

See, when he’s confronted by the Pharisees, Jesus steers the conversation away from the issue of divorce and moves it toward the promise of marriage. Jesus moves the conversation away from who God may or may not punish when they get it wrong, to what God hopes and dreams for us in the first place. Jesus moves the conversation away from what breaks the Law of Moses to what breaks the heart of God.

And, what breaks the heart of God – like any loving parent – is whatever breaks the hearts of God's children.

Which is why that moment with the children is so instructive, and loving, and full of hope, when we consider it just after this difficult conversation about divorce and adultery and the Law and all the rest.

“Let the little children come to me,” he says. “Do not stop them; for it is to such as these – these naïve, squirrelly, sinful little rug rats – that the kingdom of God belongs.”

“And he took them up in his arms, laid hands on them, and blessed them.”

This is a sign of hope and show of love and invitation to grace for all of God’s children – that there is room for us all in the lap of God’s mercy, no matter what.

“It is to such as these – divorced, adulterous, selfish, vindictive, vengeful so-and-sos – that the kingdom of God belongs.”

“It is to such as these – abused, traumatized, afraid, ashamed, exhausted, alone, uncertain souls – that the kingdom of God belongs.”

“It is to such as these – regretful, remorseful, broken-hearted ones – that the kingdom of God belongs.”

And he took them up in his arms even though the disciples tried to chase them away. He laid hands on them, with love, even though his followers thought they weren’t worthy. And he blessed them, even though some believed he shouldn’t or wouldn’t or couldn’t.

Divorce is hard. God knows it. So did Jesus.

God intends for us to live together and to love together and to choose grace and joy and forgiveness for each another. God intends for lovers to find each other and to learn to share a love that lasts. God hopes for relationships that strengthen and uplift and inspire and fulfill – and God's heart breaks when we can't seem to make that happen at every turn, even as much as we wish we could.

So, just like Jesus does, the grace of God gathers broken, hurting children – like you and me – up into waiting, loving, merciful arms. Just like Jesus, the grace of God lays hands on heavy hearts. And just like Jesus, the grace of God blesses lives with forgiveness, hope, joy, and second chances.

I like to wonder about what immediate effect Jesus’ teaching and preaching – and the loving and blessing of all those kids – had on those who witnessed all of this that day. Maybe one of those Pharisees went home and put the pieces of his own broken marriage back together. Maybe a mother who was there went home and hugged her kids differently at the end of the day. Maybe a disciple or two apologized to those kids or to someone they’d shamed with their misunderstanding and misinterpretation of Scripture.

Maybe each of us will hear something of love – not judgment – in this gift we call the Gospel; and maybe tomorrow, your world and my world and God’s world will be different when we do.

Amen

Mark 10:13-16

It might surprise you to know that as a little kid I was a homebody. I didn’t go to sleepovers or overnight camps, heck I even made excuses about why I absolutely needed to go home when I stayed with my grandparents. But somehow, my parents talked me into going to Lutherwald, a Lutheran camp up in Howe, IN. Some friends from church were going too so that helped.

But I was a chubby little kid who talked too much and was more excited about Bible Study than most other 10 year olds. I was nervous, told my parents I didn’t want to go, and yet they took me anyway.

The first day and night I was pretty homesick, but then I started to catch on to the songs. And the skits around the campfire were really funny, and my counselor really seemed to listen when I talked, which was a lot… and each day I got to buy a heath bar from the canteen and my mom couldn’t tell me no, and we played all these games, and the Bible Study, oh the Bible Study, every day sometime twice a day! I loved it. By day 3 I was sold, I loved camp, I loved the friends I had made, and then on day 4 they asked me to be in a skit; these girls, middle school girls, asked me!

Because apparently church camp is the one place it can be cool to be a chubby 10 year old who talks too much and gets over excited about Bible study.

It felt like the kingdom of God on earth, more than anything else I had experienced up until that point in my life. My parents knew I would love it, I just needed a little help getting there.

I know I am not alone in this experience. In fact, camp is reported as one of if not the most formative faith experience in both little kids and counselors. About two-thirds of ELCA pastors attended overnight camp as children, and a remarkable 40% served on summer camp staff. Yet you could also say that lots of kids attend camp and don’t go on to be pastors or even stay involved in a church. One of the critiques of camp is that it’s emotionally manipulative, leaving kids with just a camp high that quickly fades away with little lasting impact. But that’s not true according to recent research.

One study done by Jake Sorenson called effective camp has collected data from over 18,000 campers and 7,000 parents from 80 different camps all over the country and found that yes, there is a camp high that kids come down from after 2 or 3 weeks. However, and more importantly, Sorenson also found that there are lasting effects from camp, even just one week. Over 90% of campers reported having more self-confidence after camp, they did devotional practices more after camp, they attended church more frequently, had more conversations about faith in their homes, and recognized that faith was relevant to their everyday lives, and all of this lasted greater than three months. All from one week of camp.

And what I found really fascinating is that even the kids who were forced to go reported that they grew in their faith and had a very positive experience at the same rates as the kids who wanted to go. Now there are all sorts of reasons why camp has these effects: it’s communal, participatory, safe and away from the stress of screens and home, and centered on faith.

Knowing all of that, wouldn’t you want to take any little kid you could find to camp, whether they wanted to or not? Don’t you want them to have that kind of experience, to encounter Jesus in that way?

And that right there, the belief that something is so good that you’ll take anyone you can to experience it, helps shed light on today’s story, which is really a strange scene if you think about it. Jesus had just finished teaching about divorce first to the Pharisees and the crowd, and secondly to his disciples. Then suddenly the text just says “people were bringing children to Jesus”, which makes one wonder…

who are these people taking little children? And where are they taking them from? They likely aren’t their parents or else Mark would have said so. And what about these children… were they on their way to see Jesus but couldn’t get close enough because of the crowd? Or did they give no care whatsoever about this Jesus, had no idea who he was, but suddenly found themselves picked up by some stranger and brought to another stranger who takes them up in his arms, puts his hands on their hands and shoulders, and blesses them. And where were the parents in all of this?

We don’t know and the text doesn’t tell us. What we do know is that some people thought that a blessing from Jesus, a single hand laid upon their heads, was so important that they were willing to grab any child they could; whether they knew this child or not, whether it was in their family or not, whether it was sick, dirty, smelly, or whinny which it likely was all of those things, or not, they took that child, fought through the crowd, stood up to the disciples who tried to turn them away, and brought the children to Jesus because they knew how life changing this one blessing would be.

If it had not been for those people, whoever they were, the children would have been left wherever they were and no encounter with Jesus would have happened that day.

This is not a sermon telling you to take random little kids to church camp whether they want to go or not. It is rather about how, where, and thanks to whom do we encounter Jesus Christ in our lives.

Jesus says Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it. To receive the kingdom of God like a child is not romanticizing children or their innocence, and certainly not their naivete. A child at the time of Jesus had no status, no honor, no money, they provided nothing to the family. They had little to no agency and relied on their families, particularly their fathers, for all of their needs, not only as children but as adults too. In society they were the lowest of the low, the unimportant.

And so of course Jesus says that’s how we are to receive the kingdom of God, as a child, because that’s the only way we can receive it. We are not able to do or offer anything that gets us the grace Jesus offers. We rely completely on Jesus to give it to us. We’ve done nothing to earn, and yet somehow God is still mindful of us lowly humans. That’s how we receive the kingdom of God.

Where we encounter Jesus Christ can be anyplace; there are no limits to where God will go to meet you. But we know camp is often one of those places. And there are others to be sure.

What was that place for you? Or what experience was it? Whatever it was, if it had the same effects on you as camp, if it was something that made an encounter with Jesus happen,

then I dare say it was a glimpse of the kingdom of God on earth and don’t you want any and all people to experience that?

My prayer is that we would be those people who bring the little children to the encounter, to the experience. Jesus does all the work, all the blessing, all the grace giving; but people just need a little help getting there.

Amen.

Divorce Is Hard

A Little Help Getting There - Fall Retreat 2024