John 20:19-23
When it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and the doors were locked where the disciples were, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” After he said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” When he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.”
When Katelyn and I lived in New Jersey, we fell in love with Pennsylvania Dutch markets. Often hidden in unassuming strip malls, these vibrant markets were full of different vendors selling the most delicious food. The one closest to us was only open three days a week so we didn’t get to go often, but we loved it when we got the chance. We’d grab a few items we’d need for the week and on the way out, get one very special treat: a pretzel log. We’d watch as they rolled the dough, stuffed them with all sorts of unhealthy goodness, and placed them in the oven, our mouths watering the whole time.
One day after helping a friend move, I was near the market and swung in for lunch. Instantly the smell of a pretzel log, overflowing with cheese and bacon, lured me to the booth. I bought two logs with good intentions: I would eat mine now and have Katelyn’s waiting for her when she woke up to go to work. Well I ate mine on the way home.
And then by some irresistible force, the second pretzel log called out to me. I knew I shouldn’t, but I couldn’t help myself. I tore into that other pretzel, polishing it off faster than the first, left the bag on the counter and proceeded to study with a full belly. Later that day when Katelyn woke up for work, a night shift nurse at the time, solely supporting us through seminary, she saw the bag. She asked if I went to the market and if so why I didn’t bring her back something. A rush of guilt came over me. I told every excuse I could think of. I didn’t know what you would want. I wasn’t sure if they had what you liked. But she saw through my every excuse. She picked up the bag, put it in the trash, and simply said, “we both know you’re wrong, but I forgive you.”
The resurrected Jesus says to his disciples, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them. If you retain the sins of any, they are retained”. For most of us, forgiveness is a nice idea. It’s something we want to practice, but it’s also really hard. And, if we are honest, we don’t always know what it is or how to do it. Forgiveness is not just forgetting what took place. We don’t suddenly stop remembering the hurt that happened to us nor should we.
We may pretend to, but the harm will reappear, likely causing as much hurt as the first time around. Forgiveness isn’t wrapping ourselves in bandages of time, waiting until the wounds have scarred. Sometimes that can help, but there is hurt we can cause or receive that time alone cannot heal. Forgiveness requires more than just the passing of hours, days, or years.
And forgiveness isn’t merely the words, “I forgive you”; it requires action on the part of both the forgiver and the sinner.
So back to the pretzel log story. It sounds like such a small example, but here she was working night shift, supporting her husband so he can go to class and read and write papers 24/7,
and he took from her the one thing that would have brightened up her day just a little bit on her way to a job she did not like. Yet, she didn’t scold me, or punish me, or demand I get her another pretzel log, all things she was in the right to do.
Instead, She gave up those rights, which is the first action required in forgiveness. And after she gave up her rights, she gave notice of my sin. “We both know you're wrong”, she said to me in a calm, almost sly, manner. She didn’t pile on the guilt or yell, “how dare you eat the pretzel log you bought with my money!” which was true! She simply told me what I did was wrong; the second action of forgiveness.
Finally, she gave me a gift, namely love when I didn’t deserve it and expected nothing in return.
Like a tool, she used forgiveness to put back together our fractured relationship that I had severed with my selfish sin. And that’s what forgiveness is: giving up rights, giving notice, and giving gifts; A tool that rebuilds a broken relationship.
We see and experience this forgiveness best in Jesus Christ. Becoming fleshing, he gave up his rights, as Ephesians 2 says “he emptied himself taking the form of a slave, assuming human likeness. And being found in appearance as a human, he humbled himself and became obedient to the point of death - even death on a cross”.
And it’s there on the cross that he gave notice of our sins because that’s what put him there; his full of mercy and justice and love, shows the depth of sin in and around us. And yet, from the cross and in his resurrection he gave gifts: gifts of grace and hope and life eternal when we deserved none of it. “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do”. “As much as you could sin, so much did Jesus forgive you”. Always has. Always will.
Yet, some of us have experienced more serious sins than a stolen pretzel log; we’ve been hurt in ways or been hurt too many times, that we are unsure if we can forgive. After all, we aren’t Jesus. I agree with Walt Wangerin who said,
“This is the human predicament: we are able to sin infinitely against one another, but we are able to forgive only finitely. Left to ourselves alone, forgiveness will run out long before the sinning does [because] we are not able to forgive equal to another’s sinning - not when such giving must come solely from ourselves.”
Thankfully, forgiveness is not just a tool able to put ruptured relationships back together, but a power tool with a source of power that comes from outside of ourselves. “Receive the Holy Spirit”, Jesus said to his disciples as he filled their lungs with his very presence. That’s the power, the true source that enables us to forgive the sins of others. It’s the Holy Spirit, dwelling in you, that makes known Jesus’ limitless forgiveness for you; no matter the mistakes you’ve made, the choices you chose, or the hurt you’ve caused. Jesus is the well of forgiveness that never runs dry.
And once you know once you have experienced that balm for your sin sick soul, you also are able to share that forgiveness with your spouse, your friend, your parent, your child, your neighbor, and even your enemies. To be clear, when Jesus commissions the disciples and us to forgive or retain sins, he doesn’t make us divine agents able to produce forgiveness that reconciles a relationship between someone else and God. Only Jesus does that and it’s already been done. That’s why during the absolution in worship the pastor “declares” your forgiveness;
I get to tell you the good news, but it’s Christ who’s actually done the work.
The forgiveness that Jesus commissions the disciples for, and us for, is the forgiveness that reconciles relationships between individuals. There are other types of forgiveness that are different, such as forgiveness between races or institutions or nations; but that’s another sermon for another time.
For this sermon, it's enough to say that like the disciples, we too have been given what we need to forgive. But whether we do it or not, whether we forgive or retain is up to us. And the good news, or bad news depending on how you look at it, is that ultimately God forgives all the sin and reconciles all things to God’s self anyway, whether it’s in this life or the life to come. So why retain them?
Instead, offer a pretzel log, use that power tool of forgiveness, and repair what’s been broken.
