Matthew 18:21-35
Then Peter came to Jesus and said to him, “Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often must I forgive – as many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “Not seven times, but I tell you seventy-seven times.”
“For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves. When he began the reckoning, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought before him. When he couldn’t pay, the king ordered him to be sold, together with his wife and children and all of his possessions, and payment to be made. But the slave fell down before him and pleaded, ‘Have patience with me and I’ll pay you everything.’ Out of pity for him, the king released him and forgave him his entire debt.
“But that same slave, when he went out, came across a fellow slave who owed him one hundred denarii. Seizing him by the throat, he said, ‘Pay what you owe!’ When he could not pay, he knelt down before him and said, ‘Have patience with me and I will pay you.’ But the first slave refused and he went and had him thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and they went and told the king everything that had taken place.
“The king summoned the first slave and said to him, ‘You wicked slave!’ I forgave you all of that debt because you pleaded with me. Should you not have had mercy on your fellow slave the way I had mercy on you?’ Then, in anger, he handed him over to be tortured until he could pay his entire debt. So, my heavenly father will also do to every one of you unless you forgive your brother and your sister from your heart.”
It’s been a few weeks since we lost Saint Dolly. I knew there would be an occasion where her death – and her life – and her Christian witness – would make its way into something around here. She was such an example of what faithful, generous, Christ-likeness looks like in the world, after all. But I’m not going to talk about her generosity – the million dollars she donated to jumpstart the development of the COVID vaccine during the pandemic; the gazillion books her “Imagination Library” has shared with kids around the world; the millions of dollars she gave to hurricane, flood, and wildfire victims in her home state and beyond. That is all very impressive, for sure. But for someone with Dolly Parton kind of money none of that is as impressive as what caught my attention about her capacity to forgive, just as generously.
If you know anything about her story – or if you happened upon any of the many tributes and reflections about the trajectory of her career, in the last few weeks, since her death – you likely know something about her early days with Porter Wagoner. Porter Wagoner – that goofy looking dude of a country singer-songwriter. He was 20 years older than Dolly and had his own TV show. He gets credit for discovering Dolly Parton and for giving her her big television debut as a regular on “The Porter Wagoner Show.” She was just 21 years old, at the time, and not so far removed from the hills and hollers of Sevierville, TN.
Dolly lived in Porter’s shadow – and under his thumb – for seven years on his show. As her boss and producer and mentor he apparently controlled and dismissed her creativity so that, in 1974, Dolly told him she wanted to leave the show, break out on her own, and have more creative freedom to do her own thing. When Wagoner resisted the idea, Dolly went home, wrote the masterpiece that is “I Will Always Love You,” sang it to him the next day, and let him know she would be leaving, whether he wanted her to go, or not.
Wagoner knew what he’d lost, of course, and held a grudge that had him speaking ill of Dolly thereafter until, when his own career fell apart and his finances took a dump, he sued Dolly – five years after the fact – for $3,000,000, in 1979, for breach of contract. (That’s about $14,000,000 in today’s money.) Dolly kept a lot of that quiet and on the down-low and they ultimately settled out of court.
Several more years later – in spite of all of that – when Dolly Parton learned that Porter Wagoner was in such dire financial straits that he had to sell the publishing rights to his own music, she secretly, quietly, on the down-low again, bought his entire catalogue of music and gave the rights to it all back to him as a gift.
In other words, Dolly pulled a Joseph.
If you don’t know or remember the details of that story, which we just heard a little piece of this morning, Joseph was one of 12 brothers. When their dad, Jacob, made it clear that Joseph was his favorite, showering him with praise and special treatment and dressing him like Dolly Parton in that coat of many colors, the other brothers didn’t like it. They conspired to kill Joseph, but ended up selling him to some human traffickers, instead, and then faked his death, letting their dad believe their little brother was killed by some kind of wild animal.
Like Dolly, though, Joseph made it big. He landed in the house and in the favor of Pharaoh – interpreting dreams like Dolly wrote songs – until he became one of the most influential men in all of Egypt. So that, years later, when famine and dire financial straits fell upon his family back home and his lying, traitorous brothers showed up looking for rescue and relief from Pharoah’s reserves in Egypt, Joseph had a choice to make: hold a grudge and send them packing? Or give them what they wanted and needed, whether they deserved it or not? Like Dolly, Joseph chose the latter and, in some quiet, sly, down-low ways of his own, Joseph helped his brothers – welcoming them with open arms and setting them up with some new land on which their family – his family – could survive, live, and thrive as a people.
I can’t be sure, because I’ve never had Dolly Parton dollars or access to the unlimited funds of the Pharaoh, but I have a hunch that the harder, more generous, sacrificial, faithful part of the reconciliation offered up by these two well-dressed, well-heeled, giants of faith we have in Dolly and Joseph, comes NOT in the grand total of the financial help they offered … but in the selfless, sacrificial, humble, ego-free, no-strings-attached, utter grace of their forgiveness.
They did it, not because they had to … or because they didn’t have plenty of reason to do the opposite … (in this era of Taylor Swift style – paybacks are Hell sort of break-up songs – it’s worth noting that even Dolly’s “break up” song to Porter Wagoner was full of humility, gratitude, and love). And Dolly did it – forgave him and helped him and reconciled with him – she apparently said, because she didn’t want to live her life bearing the burden of that broken relationship.
Joseph did it – forgave and helped and reconciled with his brothers – because he could see the bigger picture of what God was up to in his life and for the sake of the world. Only God could have turned Joseph’s great loss and suffering into good for his family … and only if Joseph had played along by forgiving them like he did.
All of which is the way of Jesus, just the same. And it’s what he’s talking about this morning with this parable – remember, this is a parable – nothing more and nothing less – about the “unforgiving servant.”
Jesus tells that story about this poor guy who couldn’t share, with his friend, the same kind of forgiveness he’d received – and then ends up being tortured because of it. Now, I don’t think we need to see that as some kind of cosmic threat or warning about the likelihood of our own suffering when we die for all the ways we didn’t forgive on this side of heaven. The “kingdom of heaven” Jesus is describing here has already broken into our midst in Jesus, remember. The kingdom of heaven about which Jesus teaches is alive and well and among us, just as much as it is up there and out there and beyond the grave.
So, when Jesus says, “the kingdom of heaven is like…” what if Jesus is teaching us about and calling us to something Dolly and Joseph knew and practiced: that living – on this side of heaven – in a state of unforgiveness … carrying – in this life – the weight of a grudge … shouldering – daily – the burden of resentment for someone else’s sins against you, is its own kind of torture; it’s own kind of hell; it’s own kind of suffering – on this side of heaven; in this life; right where we live; right here and now? And what if Jesus’ point – what if his promise – is that God doesn’t want that for any of us.
In other words, forgiveness isn’t an entirely benevolent act – and that’s okay. Yes, to forgive another is a wonderful gift to give someone else, but it’s something we do for ourselves, too. It may mean mending a relationship or it may mean moving on from one with grace. It may mean accepting someone’s apology and it may mean accepting that someone will never apologize and mean it. It may mean healing a hurt from the past or it may mean letting the past be the past and moving on. It may mean setting the record straight or it may mean setting the score card aside – or on fire – and starting from zero.
Whatever the case, we are invited to forgive because God doesn’t want us to live in bondage. We forgive because grudges and memories of sin are heavy burdens to carry around. We forgive because we know it’s been done for us in more ways than we can count. And we forgive because to refuse it is to refuse God’s place and power in our lives.
Because it all starts with God’s grace – made known in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus – promising, as God does, that “I will always love you.”
Because of that truth – because of that promise kept, in Jesus – because of that mercy made real – because of that burden lifted – because of our Sin, forgiven – we can do the same for others and for the sake of the world. And when we do, we set ourselves free along the way, just the same.
Amen
