family

FAITH5 – Reading Scripture as a Family

Wednesdays in Lent we are exploring thefaith practice called FAITH5 – a nightly routine in which families gather to SHARE highs and lows, READ scripture, TALK about how scripture informs their lives, PRAY for one another, and BLESS each other.


"Reading Scripture as a Family" –
a Lenten message by Chuck Hershberger

I did not live in a Christian home during my early childhood. Neither my parents nor my grandparents attended or had membership in a church. How I began attending church and Sunday school is another story. During the summer between my fifth and sixth grades in school, a new pastor began his ministry in my church. I approached the pastor with a request to help me read the Bible. I had begun with Genesis 1:1 and wanted to read through Revelation 22:13, but had difficulty understanding some of the passages. He provided a daily reading schedule and met with me each Saturday to discuss the week’s readings. We didn’t realize when we started that he would be my foster father before the end of the school year. The experience became a march through the Bible with father and son side by side. I am eternally grateful that he took the time to lead me through the Bible when I was ready rather than waiting until it was convenient for him. Never again was the iron hot to strike for the two of us to complete this journey together.

During high school my interests turned from the scriptures and the Triune God to the triumvirate of sports, parties and girls. My parents were so fed up that they could hardly wait for the first day of college. They may have tossed me out on my ear if the day had been delayed. They always credited a 5 foot 5 inch blonde haired blue eyed college cheerleader with finding me and carrying me back into the fold.

Marla and I came from markedly different religious backgrounds; Marla was raised as a LCA Lutheran and I came with a Disciples of Christ training––a church founded by abolitionists prior to the Civil War that has remained at the forefront of social activism throughout its history.  We approached marriage with serious discussions and agreed on our expectations for family life and especially religious involvement.

Choosing a church home, became an important consideration. The Lutheran Church Missouri Synod was the only Lutheran church in our small community, but their religious conservatism was beyond acceptance with my progressive background. The local Disciples Church did not recognize infant baptism. Marla insisted that you are only baptized once and she would not renounce her infant baptism to be baptized by immersion. We turned to the Bible to resolve the impasse and established a precedent that we followed throughout our marriage.

Each individual’s view of the Bible significantly impacts how to study and interpret the scripture. I will summarize my major guiding principles to understanding the Bible. First the Bible is the inspired word of God not the literal word of God; therefore, it is necessary to use the world view, historical setting, and cultural context of the writer to understand the original meaning of the text. The Bible expresses great themes that recur throughout its content; therefore, individual passages should not be plucked out of context to support a particular viewpoint. Rather approach the Bible in broad context with an open mind to hear it speak. In other words, use scripture to interpret scripture. Finally, translate the original meaning into our time and my life.

Many different versions of the Bible are available today. The Revised Standard Version or RSV was my bedrock reference version since childhood. The Living Word was my favorite version for several years. It was written by a Wheaton College professor so that his children could more easily understand the Bible. The Book of God by Walter Wangerin, Jr., a professor at Valparaiso University, is especially easy reading.  I highly recommend it if you ever decide to read the Bible from beginning to end. Joyce Gerwing introduced me to The Message, by Eugene Peterson, which is now my favorite version. It is necessary to compare different versions to gain a fuller understanding of the Bible.

After considerable study and prayer we concluded that scripture did not definitively distinguish the form or age for baptism so that different denominations established their own interpretations and traditions that were valid in the context of Christianity. Thus armed with a newfound understanding of baptism, we did the only sensible thing and joined the local Presbyterian Church instead of either the Lutheran or Disciples churches. We did not join a Lutheran Church until we found an ELC church in our neighborhood after moving to Madison, Wisconsin.

From the very first day of married life we vowed to sit down together as a family for the evening meal. This was an easy decision, because both of us came from families that did just that. The dinner hour stretched out as a time of sharing and devotions. Every family needs a designated and dedicated time to share and grow together spiritually. A daily family time centered on the dinner hour worked for us. We talked about each family member’s experiences during the day, prayed together and frequently shared a family devotion. The devotion books from the narthex sufficed during the early years, but we needed something more when the children were old enough to participate. Marla gathered age appropriate Bible stories for the children that she read or told in her own words.

Family devotion and sharing time became more difficult with the older children in high school. Still we succeeded in maintaining the family times that always included prayer with the meals and shared devotions with scripture as time permitted. Each family member shared what they liked and what upset them during the day. Marla and I continued the family dinner traditions after the older children left home for college and independence. Devotion booklets from the narthex and Guidepost became the standard for the scripture and devotions.  Eventually Jaime withdrew so that the dinner hour included Marla and me just as it had started at the beginning of our marriage.

 Both Marla and I taught Sunday school or similar studies most of the time while the children were still in school. Teaching at church and in small groups affords excellent opportunities to consistently study the Bible on a regular basis.

Grandchildren dramatically changed the landscape. Marla and I worked together to select advent calendars and stuff envelopes with activities and scripture references for Christmas stoles for the grandchildren. We shared the excitement as we envisioned the grandchildren carrying out the activities even though we could not be present to watch firsthand.

Daily face to face time is no longer possible, because the family is spread out in California, Colorado, Kansas, Illinois, Indiana, and Florida; [however, I appreciate the times when I witness how our family faith practices continue to play out in my children’s’ families. For example,] we spent the day at Lego Land Amusement Park before dinning at a restaurant on the way back to our son’s home.  After everyone ordered from the menu Doug asked Charlie and Joy: “What did you like best about Lego Land?” It was obvious from the eager replies and ensuing discussion that they were very used to this family sharing around the dinner table. I thought about a scripture reference that said the children will be punished for the father’s sins even to the third and fourth generations. I paraphrased the saying to: a father who neglects his children showers neglect even to the third and fourth generations, but a father who shares time, devotion, and spiritual growth with his children spreads the same even to the third and fourth generations.

My daughter, Mardi, and her family established daily family together time when they share events of the day, pray, and read scripture together. Their family time is not centered on the dinner hour, but occurs just before bedtime, which works well for them. Mardi sends frequent text messages to the family especially on days of big events such as a football games, concerts, tests, etc. Often she composes and texts a Morning Prayer to all of the family before she gets dressed for the day. I will close by reading one of her recent morning text prayers.

"First Corinthians 14:33 says 'God is not the author of confusion but of peace.'  Precious father, we pray for your peace in our lives today and every day. We ask you to keep your Word in our minds at all times. Help us to be so filled with You and Your desires in our lives that nothing else can creep in. May we be renewed daily in the spirit of our minds (Ephesians 4:23) and always have the mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16). I pray that we will so love the Lord with all our heart, soul, and mind that there will be no room in us for the lies of the enemy or the clamoring of the world. May the word of God take root in our hearts and fill our minds with things that are true, noble, just, pure, lovely, of good report, virtuous, and praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8). Please, dear Jesus, give us an understanding that what goes into our minds becomes part of us, so that we will weigh carefully what we see and hear. Amen." 

FAITH5 - Sharing Highs and Lows

Wednesdays in Lent we are exploring thefaith practice called FAITH5 – a nightly routine in which families gather to SHARE highs and lows, READ scripture, TALK about how scripture informs their lives, PRAY for one another, and BLESS each other.


"Sharing Highs and Lows" –
a Lenten message by Jesse Keljo

When Pastor Aaron let me know that I would be speaking about the sharing of highs and lows, my thoughts immediately went to my daughter’s current favorite movie: Disney/Pixar’s Inside Out. It is the story of an eleven year old girl named Riley who has moved with her family from Minnesota to San Francisco with the twist being that we experience most of this story through her personified emotions of Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear, and Disgust (my daughter’s favorite). In particular, it focuses on the key (and often overlooked) role that Sadness plays in our lives. None of the emotions appreciate Sadness. They just want Riley to be happy, which is understandable but ultimately destructive. In the end, they must work together for Riley to be a well-adjusted person.

Sharing highs and lows together between parents and children is tremendously important. Children need to see that their parents go through ups and downs, and children need to practice looking for and articulating the good and bad things in their lives as well as a safe place to do it. However, the benefits are not relegated to children; adults need practice sharing our highs and lows too.

Our culture likes to pretend that we should always be happy. At the beginning of Inside Out, Riley’s Core Memories (the ones that make Riley unique and create her personality) are all happy ones as are many of her other memories.

The problem with this is life is a series of highs and lows of varying severity. Much of the time, we experience anthill highs and golf divot lows, but then come the occasional Everest highs and the Marianas Trench lows. How can we handle (or even enjoy) our highs well with no context for what lows can be and their place in our lives? More importantly, how can we possibly handle the inevitable tragedies that will come when deny their existence?

We often don’t help each other by immediately throwing a positive spin on life’s disappointments and difficulties. When my uncle, who suffered from paranoid schizophrenia, died suddenly and unexpectedly, I remember someone saying, “well, at least he doesn’t have to hear the voices anymore.” I will never forget how much that upset my mom and that she wanted to say to that person that he would much rather be alive, voices and all. My uncle loved his family and music and smiled and laughed a lot. I am sure he suffered too. And maybe there are situations where death is a blessing. However, we need to be careful here because one could start to think: you are either happy or maybe you’re just better off dead.

Life can resemble an earthquake where massive highs and lows can come on suddenly. Recognizing and sharing our day-to-day highs and lows (the anthills and golf divots) help us face the cataclysmic events that come up: by showing us the role God plays in all of this. Picture God’s Grace like a sine curve that carries us through our highs and lows. It lifts us up to our highs, and never lets us drown in our lows while still giving us the holy opportunity to grieve, to weep, to mourn. God is the axis, the constant thread, between the highs and lows – a thread we need to hold onto in our highs so we remember to rejoice with God and remember and praise the One who lifted us up, otherwise we run the risk of thinking we did it ourselves and grow self-satisfied. And it is a thread we need to hold onto in our lows so that we remember that God weeps and grieves beside us and has not and will never forsake us. Sharing highs and lows lets us tap into this river of grace flowing through our lives. Sharing highs and lows allows us to experience the cosmic poise of true Joy that is a culmination of all of the highs and lows we have experienced and processed so far.

Last summer I read Timothy Keller’s book, Walking with God Through Pain and Suffering. I didn’t want to read it, but I felt I had avoided thinking about pain and suffering much at all in my life and didn’t want to avoid it any longer. In this book, he shares a number of true stories of suffering and God’s presence through it, and one story in particular stood out to me.

A woman, a medical professional, finds out that her mother is dying so she goes to be with her in her last days. Her mother is suffering mightily, but the only words that leave her lips are God’s Word, Bible verses and passages she knew so well and believed in so deeply in her heart that they were all she could think of in her deepest suffering and pain. The woman thinks to herself, “I want this kind of faith. A faith where, when the worst is happening, my first words are God’s Word.”

Then there is the biblical story of Joseph. He was shielded from lows in his life and was being utterly spoiled and ruined by his father. Joseph was on his way to being an overly proud young man. His brothers sold him into slavery. Then his master throws him in jail after being accused of a crime he didn't commit. God is with Joseph through all this as a Constant, helping him through these trying times. Years and years pass. Then Joseph is entrusted with everything in Egypt, and, with God’s help, is able to save his family and keep God’s People from being wiped from the face of the earth. After the highs of the first part of his life followed by years of terrible lows, Joseph has the context he needs to see that God meant all the bad that happened to him for good. Again, Joseph had to experience lows over many years to be able to get any kind of context for them, and it may be the same for us. We need to hold that thread.

And then let’s return to the film Inside Out. In Inside Out, after trying to be happy for her parents’ sake after moving, Riley finally breaks down in tears and confesses how sad she is about leaving Minnesota and how much she misses it. Her parents get down with her and tell her what they miss about Minnesota and that they are not mad about how Riley feels about moving. Sadness helped Riley have this emotional breakthrough, and, after the parents wrap Riley in their arms for a hug, Sadness brings Joy over and a melded Joy/Sadness Core memory is created.

Sharing our highs and lows helps us create these melded experiences that, again, help us cultivate true Joy, a deep, cosmic kind of poise that is informed by joy and sadness coming together at the same time. We are often Riley, trying to be happy in all circumstances when God is like Riley’s parents, who will never be angry with us for bringing our sorrows to Him and who holds our very hearts and souls in His arms whether we are surrounded by loved ones or alone.

Sharing highs and lows is just the start. It’s step one. We need to bring in God’s Word for context, step two. We need to talk and process all of this, step three. We need to pray and bring it all before God and grow that relationship, step four. We need to bless each other and God as we go through life together, step five. But, to paraphrase Zig Ziglar, those who never take step one, will never take step two. I encourage you to take that first step or maybe even that leap if you are feeling skeptical.

Gather your family or trusted friends or coworkers together and each take a turn sharing the high and the low for the day. Be present and listen to one another, no interruptions and no judging. God is there through it all, and He is ready for you to find Him and hold on tight.