hospitality

Red Rover, Red Rover

Luke 14:1, 7-14

 On one occasion when Jesus was going to the house of a leader of the Pharisees to eat a meal on the sabbath, they were watching him closely. When he noticed how the guests chose the places of honor, he told them a parable. "When you are invited by someone to a wedding banquet, do not sit down at the place of honor, in case someone more distinguished than you has been invited by your host; and the host who invited both of you may come and say to you, 'Give this person your place,' and then in disgrace you would start to take the lowest place. But when you are invited, go and sit down at the lowest place, so that when your host comes, he may say to you, 'Friend, move up higher'; then you will be honored in the presence of all who sit at the table with you. For all who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted."

 He said also to the one who had invited him, "When you give a luncheon or a dinner, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, in case they may invite you in return, and you would be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind.  And you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you, for you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous."


I dropped an RSVP card in the mail for a wedding this fall which, along with this morning’s Gospel, of course, made me think about receptions and parties, banquets and celebrations. I couldn’t help but think of all of the brides and grooms I’ve known, all the bridesmaids and groomsmen and cakes and receptions and buffets and guests lists and seating charts – and more – as I read Luke’s Gospel for this morning and heard all Jesus has to say about banquets and being invited and making all of those invitations and planning all of those celebrations.

I think about the ceremonies, where the first two or three rows of chairs or pews are reserved for the parents of the bride and groom and for their closest family members. I think about the head table at the reception, where those who wear the tuxedos and the fancy dresses are allowed to sit. And I think about the other reserved tables, again, set apart for the parents, immediate family and other VIPs. Many of us have been there and done that, am I right?

And, with those images in your head, listen again to what Jesus says to the one who invited him to the banquet on that Sabbath day: “When you give a luncheon or a dinner, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, in case they may invite you in return, and you would be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind."

Now, I don’t think for a second I should convince any bride or groom not to invite their best friends and closest family members to their most special occasion. Nor would I have the nerve to suggest that the guest list include a host of strangers – poor, crippled, lame, blind, or not. I don’t think even Jesus would expect such a thing, necessarily either, because in this morning’s gospel, Jesus is talking about more than manners and he’s calling to our attention more than just another wedding reception, too. This was a parable, of sorts, we’re told, after all.

So, Jesus is pointing to a different kind of party, here. Jesus is referring to the resurrection banquet we all will share at the end of time. Jesus is talking about the banquet to end all banquets; the reception to end all receptions; the celebration to end all celebrations – and it’s the party we gather here for, week after week, to anticipate.

We can forget it sometimes, but Holy Communion is a banquet, remember. This is all supposed to be a party, of sorts. Yes, it’s about acknowledging our brokenness, our failures and our sinfulness. Yes, it’s about repenting and giving up all those things that keep us from being who or how or what God hopes for us to be. But Holy Communion is ultimately about being reminded of our forgiveness and salvation, too. The food and drink we share here represent a feast of victory that we remember and look forward to every time we break bread and share wine in remembrance of the one who died, but who lives again, for our sake – and for the sake of the world.

And Jesus wants us to imagine – and to invite – all of God’s people into that banquet, especially if they’re in need; especially if they’re poor, blind, lame or crippled; especially if they’re hungry in any way; hurting in any way; broken, lonely, outcast, ostracized, alienated in any way. Followers of Jesus are expected to have a different, more colorful, messier guest list than just any old party might include.

Does anyone remember Red Rover? That game where you stand in a circle or line up with your team and yell out, “Red Rover, Red Rover, send ‘so-and-so’ right over!” And the person you’ve called on has to charge into the other team and try to break through their clasped hands and linked arms. (I suspect, in the interest of an abundance of caution and safety, Red Rover has gone the way of Dodge Ball on most school playgrounds.)

But, some churches in the world these days still seem to play. Too many churches seem to be hosting their own kind of Red Rover Tournament of Champions, week after week, if you ask me. There are signs of welcome, all kinds of invitations. There is talk about a loving, merciful, forgiving and gracious God. The table is set and so is the stage for a great party week after week: “Red Rover, Red Rover send everyone on over!”

But then teeth are clenched. Arms are locked. Eyes are shut. And it's almost like the greatest hope in some places is that the wrong crowd doesn't actually show up and try to break into their midst; that “those” people don’t try to take advantage of the Good News God offers; that “that kind of sinner” or “that kind of broken” or “that kind of hungry,” “that kind of need,” “that kind of messy” doesn’t actually show up and gum up the works. Churches are dying in droves because it’s become really hard for hurting, hungry people to play this game; to break through the history and the hypocrisy in so many places and to find the kind of grace Jesus proclaims and expects us to offer.

So, our reading from Luke’s Gospel this morning begs the question, “If this is a party – and we’re not just talking about wedding receptions – who exactly is on our guest list?” What does our inviting look like? And, who gets to sit at the head table with us? Who gets to join our circle as we gather around this altar? Who gets to stand in line with us as we make our way to the front to receive what is ours only by the grace of God?

Is it the recovering alcoholic who gathers here on Mondays or Thursdays for AA… who’s still a little hungover so may not feel up to snuff for Sunday morning worship? Is our welcome wide enough for her?

What about that kid who’s a little too loud and anxious and excitable to sit still for an hour at a clip? Is our welcome for him?

What about the gay couple who wants to hold hands in worship? Or the family who would pray the Lord’s Prayer in Spanish? Would we merely tolerate them? Or would we welcome them, include them and love them into our midst? Maybe do some things differently in order to make room for them?

See, Jesus’ words in this morning’s Gospel are meant to shift our focus, to change our tune about this party for which we’ve gathered. He means to change the way we view ourselves as the ones gathered for the party. He means to put this party into a different perspective by reminding us that we may do the inviting, we may read the words, hand out the bulletins, choose the music, pray the prayers. We may have prepared the food and set up the table and many of us will even help to clean up after the party’s over, to get ready for the next one. But Jesus reminds us that we are by no means the hosts of what goes on here.

God is the one who gathers us in. God feeds and forgives us. And God sends us out into the world to do the same for others.

At the wedding banquet Jesus speaks of, and at the communion table God orchestrates, the same feast is shared ... it's one that's offered because we need forgiveness. The table gets turned, and the broken, crippled, blind, lame and sinner of every shape, size and status, are no longer "out there," but we realize that "they" have become "us," and the Lord of heaven and earth calls us all to the table at the same time with the same words: “This is the body of Christ, given for you,” and “This is the blood of Christ, shed for you.” “…and for you, and you and you.” “…and for him and her and them, just the same.”

So, this morning is about humility and welcome. When we realize that it’s not our party to throw, but that there’s room for all of us at the head table anyway, we don’t have to behave like children on the playground any longer. We can loosen our grip and soften our hearts. We can open our eyes. And we can move over and make room for so many more lives to enter our circle and to share the joy and good news that belong to us all.

And that's when this food becomes more than just nourishment for the body ... it fills the soul. That’s when our gathering becomes more than just people in a room ... it's children of God loved and loving, forgiven and forgiving, changed by grace and changing the world, in return. And it’s when this feast becomes a foretaste of what’s to come … when things here on earth look more and more and more, as they are and will be in heaven.

Amen

"The Hard Work of Hospitality" - Luke 10:38-42

Luke 10:38-42

Now as they went on their way, he entered a certain village, where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. She had a sister named Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to what he was saying. But Martha was distracted by her many tasks; so she came to him and asked, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.”


Each time we invite people to our home, my wife and I run through an unwritten checklist of tasks to accomplish before the guests arrive: 

- buy groceries
- pick up all the toys
- vacuum the floors
- clean the bathrooms
- take care of any visible landscaping issues
- cook the food
- wash the dishes
- set the tables
- clear off the junk from the kitchen island and set the food out
- turn on the music

We do this as the reality of life swirls around us:

- the dog needs to go out
- the kids want us to play with them
- the phone rings
- the kids need us to separate two LEGOs that seem to have been super-glued together
- the dog needs to eat- the kids are fighting over toys
- one essential ingredient was either not purchased or not removed from the freezer
- the phone rings
- for at least one of us, something from work is weighing on our minds and is distracting
- the kids decide to play with every toy that was just put away
- the food burns

All that to say, preparing for guests often turns into a stressful endeavor and we feel like voices are raised, things are forgotten, kids are neglected, and the imperfections of our life are made apparent.

And yet, we love having guests in our home. We appreciate the experience of exchanging stories, laughing, learning new things, and enjoying good food and drink.

We say goodbye and close the door; we put the kids to bed, wash some dishes and then collapse on the couch, feeling blessed by the experience of being with others.

I wish that we didn’t have to go through all the stressful preparations in order to have people over to our home. I often attempt to justify my aversion to the hard work of hospitality by claiming that true friends wouldn’t care if there is dog hair on the floor, grass that obviously needs to be mowed, toys strewn about, or dirty toilets. (OK, even I know true friends deserve clean toilets). 

I’d like to think that someone who enters my home in its everyday non-sterilized state would actually get a far better picture about my real life. I am even tempted to justify this approach using today’s gospel story of Martha and Mary, where Martha is busy running around playing hostess, while Mary neglects her responsibilities in order to be with Jesus…and gets praised for it!

Interestingly enough, pointing out that Martha didn’t help out and still ended up Jesus’ favorite has never convinced my wife that I should be allowed to back out of doing my fair share of the work of preparing our home for guests. 

It turns out that Jesus’ words to Martha at the conclusion of the story are not actually an indictment against her busyness. Jesus’ repeated use of Martha’s name at the beginning of the statement is a rhetorical element that signifies compassion. Meaning that Jesus’ statement is less a dismissive indictment and more a compassionate invitation to remember that relationships are the most important thing.

Think of cooking shows. Ina Garten’s Barefoot Contessa is one that pops into my mind. The majority of the show is Ina walking you through the recipes and making you think, “Yeah, I could do that.” But the show doesn’t end when the perfectly-cooked dishes come out of the oven. Rather, each show ends when her friends and family come over and the camera catches the smiling and content lot of them sitting around the table…and she’s right there with them, enjoying the fruit of her labor. 

Similarly you could think of all the home renovation shows. Imagine how anti-climactic they would be without the payoff moment at the end where the family shows up and sees their newly-remolded house for the first time and bursts into tears – the designers, contractors, and workers are right there ready to give and receive hugs.

The hard work of hospitality has its payoff in the creation of relationships. Jesus has to remind Martha that her hard work of hospitality is all for naught if she misses the chance to create a relationship with her guest.

This Biblical truth has some implications for us today, and they are probably not as easy and straightforward as you might think.

First, and most obviously, we should take a cue from this story and be more proactive about extending hospitality. Make the effort for your home to be a place of welcome and relationship-building. Engage in the hard work of hospitality, knowing that a life-impacting relationship could emerge.

Second, take care that your busyness doesn’t distract from your relationships. Are you someone who takes pride in the fact that your job demands 50, 60, or 70 hours a week? Is it possible that all that extra time at work is preventing you from being present (literally and figuratively) with family and friends or preventing you from meeting new people and creating new relationships? 

Third, think about how this story impacts our life here at Cross of Grace. People come to a church looking for relationships – with God, with a spiritual guide, with people in the pews who they imagine could become friends. However, a church cannot nurture relationships unless the hard work of hospitality is being done. I hope you realize that every time you take on a role at church, you are engaging in the hard work of hospitality and doing your part to create relationships – whether it is cleaning the church, providing food, volunteering with the youth, or greeting people as they arrive. People show up at Cross of Grace for a myriad of reasons, but they only stay if they feel like people are going out of their way to build relationships with them. This is our collective responsibility. 

Finally, think about how this story situates Cross of Grace in the wider community and world. A church like ours is called to engage in the hard work of hospitality – of setting the table in the wider community to nurture and provide leadership, Biblical truth, social justice, and relationships that bridge divides. 

Our work as the body of Christ in the world is not just to say a prayer on behalf of those who suffer in our world, but also to join hands with the suffering as we pray for hope and peace to come.

Our work as the body of Christ in the world is not just to sit and think about ways we participate in the oppressive systems of our world, but also to sit down with those who are oppressed and listen to their stories.

Our work as the body of Christ in the world is not just to sing songs of praise inside our walls, but also to sing the songs of praise with all who need to a bit of joy in their lives.

We could sit on the couch and say that the hard work of hospitality is someone else’s responsibility, as I am so often compelled to do; or we could become so immersed in our responsibilities that we ignore the gifts our hard work brings about. In both cases we would miss out on the gift of life-giving relationships only made possible through this hard work. 

Praise to Christ who has done the hard work of establishing relationship with us and has shown us the right way to set the table.

Amen.