A God-Shaped Heart

Matthew 5:21-37

"You have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, "You shall not murder'; and "whoever murders shall be liable to judgment.' But I say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister, you will be liable to judgment; and if you insult a brother or sister, you will be liable to the council; and if you say, "You fool,' you will be liable to the hell of fire. So when you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift. Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are on the way to court with him, or your accuser may hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you will be thrown into prison. Truly I tell you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny. 

"You have heard that it was said, "You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to go into hell. 

"It was also said, "Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.' But I say to you that anyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of unchastity, causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. 

"Again, you have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, "You shall not swear falsely, but carry out the vows you have made to the Lord.' But I say to you, Do not swear at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. Let your word be "Yes, Yes' or "No, No'; anything more than this comes from the evil one.”


My family is sandwiched between our two boys’ birthdays, which fall in January and March. Having an 8-year-old and a soon-be-to 11-year-old is proving to be a bit of an adjustment, much like each year that has come before. I’m not on Facebook but my wife showed me one of the “on this date six years ago” posts that popped up on her phone from Christmas just before we moved to New Palestine, and boy did our kids look little.

With each passing year my wife and I find ourselves struggling to adapt to the challenge of parenting through new stages. We are constantly wondering what it means to be a good parent, and the answers we come up with today (when we come up with answers!) are different than they were six years ago, and different than they were almost eleven years ago. 

Obviously, parenting a newborn is difficult. It is emotionally and physically exhausting. But the existential parenting concerns parents of newborns face are pretty limited at that time. As long as the child is being fed, changed, kept warm, loved, and getting sleep, you’re excelling as a parent. Parents are incapable of making many more or tougher parenting decisions at that stage.

As the child grows and interacts with more and more of the world, the definition of successful parenting becomes less clear. A parent always wants to make sure the child’s basic needs are covered. But as I parent my growing children I know that my responsibilities go beyond simply making sure that their basic needs are being covered. It’s a movement from “How do I keep this baby alive” to “What kind of life can I provide this child?” and even still, “What is my role in this child’s life?” 

This movement from the difficult simplicity of newborn parenting to the difficult complexity of parenting through the lifespan is a helpful model to understand our spiritual life.

When our faith is new we can only handle the basics. At this stage our concern echoes the concern of the parents of a newborn, “How do I keep this thing alive?” We need clear cut definitions and distinctions. A faith like this pulls things to opposite poles or dualities. We need to know what is good and what is bad, who God is and who God isn’t, who is in and who is out, what we should do and what we shouldn’t do. It’s a well-documented fact that many people never move beyond this stage of faith. They are handed a script and are content to play their part, no questions asked. 

Others move to the next stage of faith where things become messy and complicated. Things are no longer black or white. Instead, there is nuance, give-and-take, and constant wrestling with matters of truth. This stage of faith is like the stage of parenting where every comment or instruction given to a child is met with the same response: “why?” There’s a voice in our heads that starts asking “why?” The voice tells us we need more than just the basics; we need more explanation, more nuance, more grace, a more pronounced role in the decision-making process. Whereas newborn faith is characterized by “either/or,” more mature faith is characterized by “yes/but” or “yes/and.”

Jesus uses his sermon on the mount to invite us to cultivate a more mature and messy faith -- a faith that moves beyond simple obedience to the law and into a more holistic and encompassing vision of the transformation of one’s heart and life.

We have to move beyond simple obedience to the law because the old religious law had become corrupted. This law made its followers feel insecure, morally weak, and unacceptable. When you’ve convinced someone they are unacceptable, they are more inclined to do what you want them to do because human beings will go to great lengths to feel accepted. What better way to cement your power over someone else than by establishing laws that people are incapable of obeying! With every mistake and misstep, the people saw themselves as further and further away from the ideal of God which they assumed the pious religious leaders were following. 

Jesus comes with a radical new message and invitation. In his sermon, Jesus presents snippets of the law when he says “You have heard it said…” But he’s not mentioning them just to remind the people they should be following the law; he has something to add; he has some nuance, some grace, some explaining to do, some questions, perhaps. So he says, “But I say to you…” 

Jesus invites us to understand that there is a divine law that is not a set of rules to follow but instead is a blueprint for a God-shaped heart energized by love. Jesus is an example of what it would look like to live our lives as God would live them if God were you or I. The law had suppressed the people for so long that they doubted they were fundamentally good people, and consequently they doubted whether God was fundamentally good. But here comes Jesus with the message that God is good, all people are inherently precious, and that it is possible to live with a God-shaped heart. 

Jesus lists a few examples in his sermon. A man or woman who lives with a God-shaped heart would have an intense desire to be of help. Such a person would have neither contempt nor lust for others. Such a person (a man, in this example) would not divorce his wife simply because he felt like it, which was a common practice at the time. And, such a person would only say how things are or are not; there would be no verbal manipulation.

I started this morning by addressing the question on many of our hearts, which is “How do I know if I’m a good parent?” Here we have a picture of what it looks like to be a good Christ-follower, or even a good person. All these questions  are one-in-the-same.

A good person seeks to follow the footsteps of Christ, by recognizing the inherent dignity and worth of every person and by cooperating with the ongoing work of God in the world that is expressed in acts of loving kindness and trust in God. We are not to become preoccupied with checking off a list of dos and don’ts of spiritual perfection. This would only tear us down or, conversely, over-inflate our ego. Instead, Jesus reframes the law to show that it is possible to live in the Kingdom of God here and now. The Holy Spirit will help us on this journey of discipleship. It will take a long, long, time to feel any sense of movement towards a God-shaped heart. But transformation is possible; and if that is what you seek, God will deliver. I can think of no better news to announce this morning.

Amen.