A God-Shaped Heart

Matthew 5:21-37

"You have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, "You shall not murder'; and "whoever murders shall be liable to judgment.' But I say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister, you will be liable to judgment; and if you insult a brother or sister, you will be liable to the council; and if you say, "You fool,' you will be liable to the hell of fire. So when you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift. Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are on the way to court with him, or your accuser may hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you will be thrown into prison. Truly I tell you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny. 

"You have heard that it was said, "You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to go into hell. 

"It was also said, "Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.' But I say to you that anyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of unchastity, causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. 

"Again, you have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, "You shall not swear falsely, but carry out the vows you have made to the Lord.' But I say to you, Do not swear at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. Let your word be "Yes, Yes' or "No, No'; anything more than this comes from the evil one.”

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My family is sandwiched between our two boys’ birthdays, which fall in January and March. Having an 8-year-old and a soon-be-to 11-year-old is proving to be a bit of an adjustment, much like each year that has come before. I’m not on Facebook but my wife showed me one of the “on this date six years ago” posts that popped up on her phone from Christmas just before we moved to New Palestine, and boy did our kids look little.

With each passing year my wife and I find ourselves struggling to adapt to the challenge of parenting through new stages. We are constantly wondering what it means to be a good parent, and the answers we come up with today (when we come up with answers!) are different than they were six years ago, and different than they were almost eleven years ago. 

Obviously, parenting a newborn is difficult. It is emotionally and physically exhausting. But the existential parenting concerns parents of newborns face are pretty limited at that time. As long as the child is being fed, changed, kept warm, loved, and getting sleep, you’re excelling as a parent. Parents are incapable of making many more or tougher parenting decisions at that stage.

As the child grows and interacts with more and more of the world, the definition of successful parenting becomes less clear. A parent always wants to make sure the child’s basic needs are covered. But as I parent my growing children I know that my responsibilities go beyond simply making sure that their basic needs are being covered. It’s a movement from “How do I keep this baby alive” to “What kind of life can I provide this child?” and even still, “What is my role in this child’s life?” 

This movement from the difficult simplicity of newborn parenting to the difficult complexity of parenting through the lifespan is a helpful model to understand our spiritual life.

When our faith is new we can only handle the basics. At this stage our concern echoes the concern of the parents of a newborn, “How do I keep this thing alive?” We need clear cut definitions and distinctions. A faith like this pulls things to opposite poles or dualities. We need to know what is good and what is bad, who God is and who God isn’t, who is in and who is out, what we should do and what we shouldn’t do. It’s a well-documented fact that many people never move beyond this stage of faith. They are handed a script and are content to play their part, no questions asked. 

Others move to the next stage of faith where things become messy and complicated. Things are no longer black or white. Instead, there is nuance, give-and-take, and constant wrestling with matters of truth. This stage of faith is like the stage of parenting where every comment or instruction given to a child is met with the same response: “why?” There’s a voice in our heads that starts asking “why?” The voice tells us we need more than just the basics; we need more explanation, more nuance, more grace, a more pronounced role in the decision-making process. Whereas newborn faith is characterized by “either/or,” more mature faith is characterized by “yes/but” or “yes/and.”

Jesus uses his sermon on the mount to invite us to cultivate a more mature and messy faith -- a faith that moves beyond simple obedience to the law and into a more holistic and encompassing vision of the transformation of one’s heart and life.

We have to move beyond simple obedience to the law because the old religious law had become corrupted. This law made its followers feel insecure, morally weak, and unacceptable. When you’ve convinced someone they are unacceptable, they are more inclined to do what you want them to do because human beings will go to great lengths to feel accepted. What better way to cement your power over someone else than by establishing laws that people are incapable of obeying! With every mistake and misstep, the people saw themselves as further and further away from the ideal of God which they assumed the pious religious leaders were following. 

Jesus comes with a radical new message and invitation. In his sermon, Jesus presents snippets of the law when he says “You have heard it said…” But he’s not mentioning them just to remind the people they should be following the law; he has something to add; he has some nuance, some grace, some explaining to do, some questions, perhaps. So he says, “But I say to you…” 

Jesus invites us to understand that there is a divine law that is not a set of rules to follow but instead is a blueprint for a God-shaped heart energized by love. Jesus is an example of what it would look like to live our lives as God would live them if God were you or I. The law had suppressed the people for so long that they doubted they were fundamentally good people, and consequently they doubted whether God was fundamentally good. But here comes Jesus with the message that God is good, all people are inherently precious, and that it is possible to live with a God-shaped heart. 

Jesus lists a few examples in his sermon. A man or woman who lives with a God-shaped heart would have an intense desire to be of help. Such a person would have neither contempt nor lust for others. Such a person (a man, in this example) would not divorce his wife simply because he felt like it, which was a common practice at the time. And, such a person would only say how things are or are not; there would be no verbal manipulation.

I started this morning by addressing the question on many of our hearts, which is “How do I know if I’m a good parent?” Here we have a picture of what it looks like to be a good Christ-follower, or even a good person. All these questions  are one-in-the-same.

A good person seeks to follow the footsteps of Christ, by recognizing the inherent dignity and worth of every person and by cooperating with the ongoing work of God in the world that is expressed in acts of loving kindness and trust in God. We are not to become preoccupied with checking off a list of dos and don’ts of spiritual perfection. This would only tear us down or, conversely, over-inflate our ego. Instead, Jesus reframes the law to show that it is possible to live in the Kingdom of God here and now. The Holy Spirit will help us on this journey of discipleship. It will take a long, long, time to feel any sense of movement towards a God-shaped heart. But transformation is possible; and if that is what you seek, God will deliver. I can think of no better news to announce this morning.

Amen. 

The Risen Christ Says Yes

John 20:1-18 (The Message)

Early in the morning on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene came to the tomb and saw that the stone was moved away from the entrance. She ran at once to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, breathlessly panting, “They took the Master from the tomb. We don’t know where they’ve put him.”

Peter and the other disciple left immediately for the tomb. They ran, neck and neck. The other disciple got to the tomb first, outrunning Peter. Stooping to look in, he saw the pieces of linen cloth lying there, but he didn’t go in. Simon Peter arrived after him, entered the tomb, observed the linen cloths lying there, and the kerchief used to cover his head not lying with the linen cloths but separate, neatly folded by itself. Then the other disciple, the one who had gotten there first, went into the tomb, took one look at the evidence, and believed. No one yet knew from the Scripture that he had to rise from the dead. The disciples then went back home.

But Mary stood outside the tomb weeping. As she wept, she knelt to look into the tomb and saw two angels sitting there, dressed in white, one at the head, the other at the foot of where Jesus’ body had been laid. They said to her, “Woman, why do you weep?”

“They took my Master,” she said, “and I don’t know where they put him.” After she said this, she turned away and saw Jesus standing there. But she didn’t recognize him.

Jesus spoke to her, “Woman, why do you weep? Who are you looking for?”

She, thinking that he was the gardener, said, “Mister, if you took him, tell me where you put him so I can care for him.”

Jesus said, “Mary.”

Turning to face him, she said in Hebrew, “Rabboni!” meaning “Teacher!”

Jesus said, “Don’t cling to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father. Go to my brothers and tell them, ‘I ascend to my Father and your Father, my God and your God.’”

Mary Magdalene went, telling the news to the disciples: “I saw the Master!” And she told them everything he said to her.

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Grace, peace, and mercy to you from God our Father, from our Lord and Savior Jesus the Christ, and the Holy Spirit who unites us in faith. Amen.

A common principle in mysticism and spiritual teaching across religions is that you cannot truly see or understand anything if you begin with a no.

We see only what we choose to see, consciously or subconsciously. We can’t say yes to everything; after all; there is simply too much stuff in the world for us to absorb and comprehend it all. Saying no is our brain’s way to avoid overstimulation. Think of it like a camera lens. When there is too much light on the subject that you are shooting with a camera, the lens aperture must restrict. So too, our brains restrict the input of our senses to allow only that which we already think we know, expect, and understand.

Any posture of humility must begin with an awareness that things exist even if we don’t see, know, expect, or understand them. If we are closed off to new possibilities, insights, or realities, we are no different than the baby boy who is confident his father is really gone when his face disappears behind his hands during a game of peek-a-boo.

“We see what we are ready to see, expect to see, and even desire to see. If we start with no, we usually get some form of no in return. If we start with yes, we are much more likely to get a yes back. Once we have learned how to say a fundamental yes, later no’s can be very helpful and are surely necessary. However, beginning with yes is the foundation of mature nonviolence and compassionate action. The Risen Christ is a great big yes to everything.”*

In the resurrection account from the gospel of John, we see Mary Magdalene, Peter, and the beloved disciple all respond to Christ’s resurrection from a position of no. Mary sees the empty tomb and the only logical reason she can imagine is that Jesus’ body was moved by someone else. Despite Jesus’ repeated announcements that he would die and rise after three days, Mary’s brain could not even begin to entertain the idea that what Jesus had said was even a possibility. Likely she and the disciples hadn’t heard him say this at all – their spiritual aperture was too restricted to let that in.

Peter and the beloved disciple ran to the tomb to witness its emptiness and John says the beloved disciple “went in, and he saw and believed” (John 20:8). Believed what? That Jesus was raised from the dead? No, because the scripture continues, “for as yet they did not understand the scripture, that he must rise from the dead (John 20:9). The beloved disciple’s belief is not in the good news of the resurrection; rather, he believes that Mary wasn’t lying…Jesus’ body is in fact, gone. That is the extent of the bewildering scenario that he can process because he “did not understand.”

The great good news is that the Christ’s yes is able to break through their nos. No amount of denial or unbelief from the disciples would be able to negate the truth of Christ’s resurrection. Christ didn’t postpone his resurrection until people believed. Christ was and will forever be resurrected, regardless of whether our response to this good news is yes or no.

Despite starting with a no, something in the deepest depths of Mary’s mind wouldn’t let her walk away from the mystery of the empty tomb. Her spiritual aperture was opened just wide enough to allow one word from the gardener into her heart. “Mary,” he said. And with that one word her no became a yes.

It wasn’t just any word…it was her name. Not a judgy, dismissive, or frustrated use of her name; rather it was her name wrapped in the vocal inflection of loving invitation. Anytime someone who loves you utters your name, it is an invitation to deeper and more intimate relationship.

Have you ever lovingly uttered the name of someone whose posture is no instead of yes? It’s terribly difficult, but when it’s wrapped in the language of loving invitation, it is absolutely disarming.

On my best days as a parent this is how I respond when my kids’ behavior requires intervention. If they’re acting up, I have much more success in reaching them with a loving, calm, and inviting uttering of their names. When their emotions and volume increase, I find it best to respond with calm and quiet; invitation, never exclusion.

Of course, not all of my days are my best days as a parent. Sometimes I respond to their no with a louder and more demonstrative no of my own. However, I can’t remember a time when I responded that way and thought to myself, “Well done. That took a lot of courage to stand up to a 7 year old like that…you sure put him in his place. I’m sure he has newfound love and appreciation for you after that.”

Invitation over exclusion. Holding open over closing. Yes over no. Life over death. All of this can be communicated to someone simply in the way you say their name.

Perhaps on this Easter Sunday that is awash in the promise of new life, you are being invited to say someone’s name in a new, more open and inviting way.

Perhaps on this Easter Sunday that is awash in the promise of new life, you are being invited to hear God calling to you in a new, more open and inviting way – a way that can turn your no into a yes.

Your yes will open your aperture will be opened to allow the fullness of God’s glory to make its way into your heart and mind. Once we have learned how to say yes to the God of unconditional love we will start to see it everywhere.

Remember, the Risen Christ is a great big yes to everything.

And so we respond with the Hebrew word for yes: Amen.

* Richard Rohr, Daily Meditations, “Beginning with Yes.” August 12, 2016