Matthew 5: 1-12
When Jesus saw the crowds, he went up the mountain; and after he sat down, his disciples came to him. Then he began to speak, and taught them, saying:
“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. “Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. “Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy. “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. “Blessed are you when people revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
Say the name, toll the bell, light the candle. It may seem like a strange tradition, at least from the outside. But the church has been celebrating this day, in some way or another, for over 1700 years. Meta Herrick Carlson writes movingly about this day in her book Speak it Plain and I share her words, call it a prayer or poem, with you this morning.
She writes,
“I listen for it tolling from steeples in the sky. The bells stir the air between here and heartache. For a moment, the mystery satisfies, and we are all together.
I hang onto memories and promises with my fingernails just barely - not because I am certain, but because it is all that’s left. Because if I let go, I will fall and break apart.
Perhaps, someone will speak of my Beloved today and then I will not be so alone. Hearing the name aloud makes it real, shares the weight like a new song I think I’ve always known.
There are candles to light, the quiet resistance of remembering.”
It is comforting to hear something so accurately describe what or how you feel. Carlson does that for me with her description of mourning: it’s sad like heartache, it's a heaviness that weighs on you until tears or tiredness take over; its the griping of memory for dear life, its a loneliness we can’t quite shake.
Yet Jesus says blessed are those who mourn. That’s the thing about a beatitude… it's contrary to what we think its going to say or should say. Blessed are those who mourn is not what we expected.
Mourning doesn’t feel like a blessing. You don’t need me to tell you that. You have lost a loved one before, maybe it was this year or the last or 20 years ago; regardless of when, the mourning is still there. We all mourn but we might not all mourn the same. Maybe you’ve been on the receiving end, hopefully not here, of someone saying “its been x number of years, don’t you think its time for closure?” But that's not really how it works is it? The feeling of loss may not ever leave.
Today though is about the promise of comfort Jesus talks of. Today is a day set aside to speak about your beloved, to remember them, and by doing so, receive a little bit of comfort in the midst of mourning. Remembering may seem insignificant, a way of living in the past and not present in the hear and now.
Frederick Buechner says there are two kinds of remembering. “One way is to make an excursion from the living present back into the dead past.” Like a longing to live in the days already gone.“The other way is to summon the dead past back into the living present. The young widow remembers her husband, and he is there beside her.”
That’s the kind of remembering Jesus had in mind when seated at the last supper, he said to his disciples and to all of us, do this in remembrance of me. In our remembrance of that night, of that meal, Jesus and all the company of heaven, all those we have lost, including your beloved, are right beside you at this meal.
That’s the kind of remembering we are doing today when we say their names, ring the bell, and light the candles. So often we don’t ask about someone else’s beloved, the people or person they’ve lost because we think it’ll make them upset, that it will draw back unwanted memories, that it's salt in a still healing wound. But here, in this community, on this day, to speak the name is not salt but a soothing salve. Because when you say to someone, tell me about your beloved, and a story is shared, we who mourn are less alone. When you say, I remember when they did that or when they said this, you help the weight of grief be shared with another set of shoulders.
“Perhaps, someone will speak of my Beloved today and then I will not be so alone.”
That’s one of the reasons I find funerals so moving. This may sound morbid, but I don’t intend for it to. Some of the most formative, insightful, grace-filled moments in my first year here at Cross of Grace have been the funerals and memorials. I never met Jim Smith, or Chuck Hershberger or Janis Janelsons. And I met with Bev Bancroft and Mike McCoy too few times. I did not have the pleasure to know them as many of you did. Yet, leading up to and at their funerals, I heard many stories and memories, about when they were a child or a young adult, about what led them here and what they did for work, what and who they were proud of.
It gave me a fuller picture of not only that person, but of those who loved them and a deeper understanding of this community. On those days we are unafraid to speak their names and share their stories. And those gathered were comforted.
That's the promise; blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Of all the beatitudes, this is one where you can make that promise happen, here and now.
You can help give someone else that comfort, if even for a moment, simply by speaking of their beloved.
So today ask someone else about their beloved. Invite someone to share that memory they are holding onto with just their fingertips, and share the weight of mourning. Even better, make this a practice throughout the holiday season. It may seem early to talk about the holidays, but don’t act like some of you don’t already have your Christmas decorations out. You know who you are (we do too).
In this season the weight and loneliness can feel acute and overbearing, but you can be the promised comfort Jesus speaks of to someone else. In doing so you too will get a fuller picture not only of that person, but of those who loved them. And if that sounds like you receive a lot of joy in being that comfort for someone else, consider being a Stephen minister. If you need that comfort, consider getting a Stephen Minister, thats what they do!
And while that comfort may only be temporary, today is also about holding on to the promise that one day, we will receive the full comfort of being reunited with all our beloved ones, forevermore. As Meta wrote, our quiet resistance to death is remembering. But Jesus’ quiet resistance was his work on the cross, where, as the spiritual reminds us, he never said a mumblin word. And it’s through his work that we are forgiven and the promise to be with God and loved one’s is made ours.
Receive that promise as a gift this morning. That your beloved is a saint, not because they lived a nearly perfect life, but because as Luther liked to say they are a forgiven sinner. In our tradition that’s what makes a saint, and we can trust that all saints now rest with God and one day so will you. That too is the promise of comfort Christ makes to us in this beatitude.
Today is not simply saying the name, tolling the bells and lighting the candles. It’s much more than that. It’s holding on to our memories, to our beloved, and to Christ’s promise with all we have, if even by the tips of our fingers. It is the practice of quiet resistance to death and all that separates us from God and one another.
So I invite you to practice the quiet resistance of remembering. Who is your beloved? As we sing our hymn of the day, come light a candle for them, remember them, and be comforted by the promise that you, dear saint, will be with them once again.
Thanks be to God. Amen.
